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Moo

Moo

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To the couple in Row Q who felt it necessary to stand up through most of the Jason Isbell show at Wolf Trap last night, thanks from those of us in rows R through U.  We definitely enjoyed watching you guys shake and shimmy more than the performance we came out to see.

When I got really hungry before the show I convinced myself that it was okay just for tonight, to go to the concessions and order that big quarter pound beef hot dog and an order of tortilla chips and queso.  Go ahead live a little you are out on a date.

But when I got to the concession stand and read the menu guilt overtook me.

“Can I help you sir?” the girl asked from behind the counter.

“Yes, I will have a Mezze Platter (Hummus, Tabbouleh, Peppers, Cucumbers, Marinated Olives & Tortilla Chips) and a Deluxe Black Bean Burger (Aged Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Pico de Gallo, Chipotle Mayo & Arugula) please,”  I said with disappointment.

“Let me check to see if we have a Black Bean Burger left,” she said as I began to imagine the taste of that quarter pound beef hot dog once again.

A swift confirmation from the back confirmed the bad news.

“Yes, we have one” she said with a big smile.

“Oh,” I said.  “That’s great.”

And off I went to share the good news and my newly discovered concession fares with my wife waiting at the picnic table.

The best part of all this is, that between the biking and the eating changes, I am at weights I haven’t experienced since I had two colon resections back to back twenty years ago.  And of course even eating plants is much more fun than having two colon resections.

The worst part of it is, when the bouquet of barbecued meats wisp across my yard from my neighbor’s grill to my nostrils,  while I am rotating the plant based ears of corn on my grill, I am convinced that between the amount of corn I am eating for dinner and the amount of oats I am consuming for breakfast, that I will surely be mooing by the end of the summer.

It was really nice to be back at Wolf Trap again.  We used to go see many shows every summer, this summer, Jason Isbell may be our only one. Though Kim thought the lyrics sad and maybe a bit depressing; “I like to look at the glass half full,” she said.  But writing about real life is sometimes hard, sometimes it can be a bit depressing.

And we had fun in spite of the nice couple standing and shaking and head bobbing a few rows up.  I guess it’s like having your French bread snapped in half, some people just don’t understand.

But they were having fun too, and it didn’t rain, and the show was really awesome, and I had a Black Bean Burger (with Aged Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Pico de Gallo, Chipotle Mayo, and not to forget… Arugula).

And that is the glass half full.

My Prayer For Hayley

My Prayer For Hayley

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Early one morning the sun was shinin’
I was layin’ in bed
Wond’rin’ if she’d changed at all
If her hair was still red
Her folks they said our lives together
Sure was gonna be rough
They never did like Mama’s homemade dress
Papa’s bankbook wasn’t big enough

And I was standin’ on the side of the road
Rain fallin’ on my shoes
Heading out for the East Coast
Lord knows I’ve paid some dues gettin’ through
Tangled up in blue

(Bob Dylan, Tangled Up in Blue)

 

On a day like today, it’s hard not to think about my own life, my own marriage.

I always thought this Dylan verse was cool having married a red head who changed it all on me one day.  And like in Bob’s song, our bankbook wasn’t very big either; at our wedding we had cold cuts from the deli at the local grocery store, a keg of beer, and a box of wine in the garage.

But it was beautiful.

And Kim, she was beautiful too.

 

My daughter Hayley gets married today.

That is no small undertaking as many of you know.  These days getting married the statistical odds are against you.   They say 48% end in separation or divorce.  Those might be great odds at the racetrack, not so good for planning the rest of your life.

I know that as well as anyone, because I make up part of that statistic.  I had one that didn’t cross the finish line and one that is like Secretariat winning the Belmont, going down the stretch ahead by 31 lengths and never having to look back.

My wife always says that marriage is like an egg, it’s fragile, you have got to cradle it in your hands.  That’s the truth because like Bob described in the song, lives together sure can be rough.  But not every day has to be rough, if you get all four hands holding that egg you can get through those hard times.  And life can be wonderful.

But today is about Hayley, not me.

I have great memories with all my kids. Since I love music, often those memories involved music.  The last thing Donny and I did together was go to Wolftrap for his one and only concert;  a Shania Twain adventure with Savannah where I would like to have a “do over”;  and Alexa, who was spoon fed Bruce from infancy and also shared a love of the Beach Boys and John Sebastian.

But I will say I have some distinct memories with Hayley.

Having beer poured on her head at a Jimmy Buffet show when the server couldn’t see her standing in front of the table because she was that little; front row seats at the Barns where the Subdudes dedicated a song, Sugar Pie,  to Hayley and after the show signed a CD for her; and I can’t forget the old Birchmere, where I was the only guy whose date was ten years old watching Lowen and Navarro who Hayley loved as much as I did.  They opened with “Constant as the Night” and I remember she was excited because that was one of her favorites.

And Hayley and I created some other memories as well.  We took some trips together; like the time Hayley and I went to Orlando for a vacation that still today remains one of my best; a trip to Gettysburg to dig into some history together (Hayley is a history teacher); but nothing tops the time Hayley and I drove the rental truck from Des Moines, Iowa to Fort Lauderdale moving Alexa to her new job with the Public Defender’s office, complete with a cowboy hat, truck stops, and non-stop country music.  George Strait’s Wrapped had just been released and we must have heard it a hundred times.  By the time we got to Fort Lauderdale we knew every word to that song.

That was a hoot.

When I was charged with picking a Father-Daughter dance song, of course I went to Google to search and I got the top 20 this and the top 50 that…somehow however Butterfly Kisses didn’t seem right for Hayley and me.

I got discouraged.

So I busted out the iPod and over a period of days I just listened.

Then one evening sitting on the deck all alone listening to my iPod,  something happened.

I got a tear.

Then I moved on to some more iPod songs, but getting no reaction, I went back to that same song.

And guess what?  I got some more winkage.

So that was that.

I will admit we are going to have a heck of time trying to dance to it, but you can be sure I will have a tissue handy just in case.

 

The truth is that all the joy and excitement of today will soon dim somewhat and the day to day challenges of making a life together will become the reality.  There will be many rough spots, some tough times even… some maybe unbelievably tough.  But those times can be overcome and made good and relationships made stronger in fact, if you have all four hands cradling that egg.

You see, marriage can be an answered prayer.

And so my prayer for Hayley is that God answers my prayer for Hayley the same way He answered my prayer for myself some years ago.

And may she never look back.

Hayley and I on the King Kong ride on one of my best vacations ever.
Hayley and I on the King Kong ride on one of my best vacations ever.
I think I might be getting a Butterfly Kiss here
I think I might be getting a Butterfly Kiss here
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I ripped this off from Hayley’s Facebook.

 

 

A Very Special Unexpected Birthday Gift

A Very Special Unexpected Birthday Gift

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Dear Donny,

Today was your birthday.

It was a Saturday and much like any other Saturday we got up early because we couldn’t sleep. We had our coffee, checked our email and our Facebook, and did some work-work leftover from Friday.

We remembered your birthday on Facebook.

Many times I have described that time after Thanksgiving when the Christmas decorations come out of the trunks and down from the attic as bittersweet, as the memories are unpacked one at a time and placed on the tree or on the mantle. It is our darkness in the brilliant light of the season; fourteen seasons now to be exact.

And though we celebrated, laughed, and enjoyed this holiday as much as anyone, there will always be something that will be missing in our hearts as hard as we try to ignore it each year. That one thing we can’t unpack, hold in our hands for that short time, put away and wait anxiously for next year when we can take it out again and hold it once more.

If only we could.

But we do have our memories and each year we work hard to make sure we keep them alive because we don’t ever want to forget.

And normally by New Year’s Eve the lights are out, the tree is down, and the ornaments are packed away.

This year however was different, we were late. This year…..your birthday….. today, was the day that the ornaments were taken down and the lights rolled up, and everything returned to its place in the attic for another year.

And it really was different. Your mother and I were busy. We found some old CD’s and we listened to music that we listened to when we were dating. We were singing, we laughed,  and we were not sad.

“Tonight I ask the stars above, how did I ever win your love.
What did I do, what did I say, to turn your angel eyes my way”

We were happy.

And now as we prepare to sleep, we put this, yet another nice memory to bed. You see?  You can still make them!

Thank you for sharing, what would have been your twenty ninth birthday with us today. And thank you because on this birthday, it was us who received the gift.

Happy Birthday Buddy