The Rose Ceremony
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?
From When I’m Sixty Four by Lennon and McCartney
The song When I’m Sixty Four was released on the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album in May of 1967. It is said that it is one of the first songs written by McCartney when he was just sixteen years old. Quite an accomplishment at such a young age to try to project what it might be like growing old together in a relationship.
Sounded perfect.
Who could ask for more?
The Rose Ceremony.
A single rose always means “I love you.”
As the first gift of a husband and wife, they exchange the single rose each holds.
Remember, in every marriage, there are times when it is difficult to find the right words; difficult to say “I am sorry” or “I forgive you.”
If this should happen, the gift of the rose will say for you.
“I am sorry.”
“I still love you.”
And the other should accept the rose for the words which cannot be found.
I celebrated my 64th birthday this past weekend.
Kim celebrated her 59th birthday on Monday.
And twenty years ago today Kim and I said the words and exchanged the roses as part of our wedding vows.
It was a simple wedding.
With the exception of Kim’s sister Kathy and my brother Gary, the wedding party was made up of kids. Some ours, some not ours.
Pastor Lee Crosby officiated on the first day of work with his first assignment right out of Divinity School at the Sterling United Methodist Church.
The reception was simple, catered by the local deli with a keg of beer and box wine and held at our townhouse.
The next day we bolted up to New Jersey for a second reception at Monmouth Park’s Clubhouse outdoor patio for the Jersey group.
We even had a race named in our honor, and a photo in the winner’s circle.
I think there was a time for both of us when we didn’t feel we would get this opportunity.
Answered prayers I always called it.
The past twenty years have gone by quickly.
We were talking the other evening while hunkered down in the compound which is our backyard where we find ourselves a lot lately, our marriage has never been stressed.
Not that we haven’t endured stress, in fact, we have had unbelievable stress.
But it’s never affected our relationship.
We had our four kids. And they provided plenty of opportunities for us and our relationship to be challenged.
But that never happened, even in the worst of situations.
And we had some Holy Spirit heavy lifters.
Now I find myself sixty-four and like in the song, growing old together, and realizing the growing old part may present the biggest challenge in life that I, or we, will face.
My lyrics, however, might sound more like:
I could be handy, clean the garage
When your patience is gone
You can sit and relax by the fire pit
In the morning go for bike ride
I’ll do the garden, dig all the weeds
Clean the bathrooms too!
Will you still need me, I will still feed you
When I’m sixty four!
And true to our Rose Ceremony, there were more than a few times when I had to cough up a rose to bail myself out.
Wait, now that I think about it, I may have been the only one coughing up roses the last twenty years, I might need to go back and read that Rose Ceremony fine print again…
Seems I may have been the only one ending up in those situations for which words cannot be found.
Truth is…
I couldn’t ask for more.
Happy Anniversary Baby
