Where The Choo Choo Go
I have been home these past five days.
Quarantined, under house arrest, battling and recovering from my first bout of Covid-19.
In fact, I should probably apologize for my last post which I should have never posted because I was going down like the Titanic with a temperature of 103 as I was trying to write. But not wanting to waste the time already invested I hit the publish button.
Sorry.
Though being sick is no fun, there is something oddly relaxing about being in this situation. I can’t see anyone, no one wants to see me; I am forbidden until I meet certain criteria to return to work; so other than seeing my wife who has been sleeping in another room I am just home chilling.
Needless to say, with nothing better to do, I watched TV, listened to podcasts, watched some races, and slept a lot.
Well, mostly I slept a lot.
I could argue that Mike Lindell commercials, Balance of Nature commercials, and especially The Gutfeld Show, are all three good reasons to turn off Fox News and watch CNN.
So, I did, I watched some CNN.
And, I began listening to the Barak Obama and Bruce Springsteen podcast Renegades: Born in the USA.
Somehow this news overload got me thinking first about our Vice Presidents and how they really got to be Vice Presidents. You can’t really argue it was their qualifications to govern as our current example proves, more than their ability to gain votes for the Presidential candidate.
I imagined Obama sitting around with his team trying to find the most racist old white guy Democrat to balance out his ticket and maybe gain some votes from other racist old white guys of all parties.
And Trump probably chose Mike Pence to help grab the evangelical vote and help balance out his negatives.
Of course, the most obvious example of this would be Kamala Harris, this time balancing out the old racist white guy with potentially the first female Vice President of color. That was a ringer in my opinion. The slam dunk. And it seems to have worked out well. At least in terms of the election result.
Looking back though, there was no way, in my opinion, Joe Biden was going to be allowed to lose that election regardless of whether you thought he was the best candidate or the worst candidate.
So then I began to wonder, now that we are in this mess with really no solution in sight to resolve it, does anyone who worked so hard to get us here have any regrets?
I thought about the Renegades, Barak Obama and Bruce Springsteen, having listened to some of their podcasts. And couldn’t help but imagine what they might be thinking off the microphone.
But not only that.
Barak and Bruce…somehow the idea of the two of them working together conjured up more of a familiar visual for me. I thought about the parallels to another population who needed saving, though fictitious, and imagined a conversation like this:
“Hey Boss, I think we are in some deep do-do.”
“Yeah Mr. Boss, it doesn’t look we are having a house party tonight anymore does it?”
“So Boss, what should we do? We helped to get ourselves into this mess, how do we get out of it.”
“Well Mr. Boss, maybe it’s time for a new sheriff in Washington to save the country. I got a plan.”
“Okay Boss, let’s hear it.”
“We’ll work up a Number 6 on ’em.”
“A Number 6”? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that one, Boss.”
Well, Mr. Boss, that’s where we go a-ridin’ into Washington, a-whompin’ and a-whumpin’ on my motorcycle, and then we…”
Kind of like Blazing Saddles and saving the poor people of Rock Ridge right?
Blazing Saddles, the 1974 movie by Mel Brooks that satirized racism and bigotry. Brooks used humor to exemplify the extremely stupid behaviors of those who practiced it both in the historical context of white people settling in the west and their mistreatment of immigrant groups such as the Chinese and the Irish; the African Americans; and also the attitudes and treatment towards Native Americans; but also to show the idiocy of the bigotry of modern times.
It is fairly well accepted that Blazing Saddles would not have been able to be made today.
But I imagined a modern-day politically correct version, focused only on saving the country, not having anything to do with racism. This dynamic duo the “Renegades,” Barak and Bruce ‘a-ridin’ into Washington, D.C on Bruce’s motorcycle wearing cowboy and motorcycle boots on a mission to rescue the U.S.A. from sure collapse.
With Barak Obama acting as the Sheriff Bart character.
And Bruce Springsteen would be like Jim, the “The Waco Kid” his trusty partner, but in this case maybe we would have to call him “The Jersey Kid” or the “The Asbury Kid.”
And Joe Biden to be the perfect Gabby Johnson.
And though it may be a stretch but maybe only to some degree, Kamala Harris playing a Governor William J. Le Petomane like part.
Then how about Nancy Pelosi as a Californian Lili Von Shtupp (“a wed wose, how womantic”).
Of course, the villain, the Hedley Lamarr role would have to be Donald Trump as evil as he is alleged to be.
Yeah, wouldn’t it be great if we could write a script with someone…anyone, riding into Washington, setting the government straight and our national policies, and once their work is complete, ride humbly off on their motorcycle into the Jersey Turnpike skyline?
I have said before I don’t want to nor am I capable of writing about politics, at least not seriously.
I even proposed to support Mickey Mouse for President in the 2016 election.
And as silly as the idea of a Sheriff Barak and “The Asbury Kid” saving our country sounds, I am praying for a miracle, any miracle, even one this crazy.
Because the reality is, just like Mongo, when asked why it was important where the Choo Choo go:
“Don’t know. Mongo only a pawn in the game of life.”
That’s me too, I don’t know either for I, am only a pawn in the game of life too.
It may be time to break out the paddle boards.
“He conquered fear and he conquered hate.
He turned our night into day.
He made his blazing saddle
A torch to light the way.”
(from the theme song “Blazing Saddles,” sounds like something worth praying for? I rooting for this guy)