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The Christmas Letter 2022

The Christmas Letter 2022

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Seriously…

Me?

Cranky?

I’m cranky?

I was told that by one of my daughters recently.

She told me I needed to start writing more about my family and grandkids maybe, and less about the cranky old guy stuff I have been writing about.

I won’t tell you which daughter told me I was cranky because I don’t want to throw one of them under the bus because I am a dad who is cool like that.

But I am sure it’s okay if I tell you she lives in Florida.

 

It’s December 6th and I am home alone again.

Kim is attending the Laurel View Village Christmas party with her mom in Pennsylvania.

Home alone, that sounds kind of Christmassy right?

Because again this year, I decided I wasn’t going to write a Christmas letter.

Once again, I didn’t feel like it.

Too cranky I guess.

But since I am home alone, what the heck, maybe it will help.

 

Kim and I watched Christmas movies over this past weekend; It’s a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the one from the year 2000 with Jim Cary as the Grinch.

I never liked that one.  I would always get to the scene early on in the movie with the sorting of the mail and presents at the Whoville Post Office and then I would shut it off.  It was just too much overstimulation.

But this past weekend Kim and I watched the whole thing.

And I still didn’t like it.

But this movie has that song.

The Where Are You Christmas? song.

That song always gets to me, in fact, I featured some of the lyrics in my 2018 Christmas “letter” that was never sent but just posted online, another Christmas we struggled with.

So while Kim went upstairs to bed, I watched the credits and listened to Faith Hill sing that song once again. And as it always does, even though I like it, it made me a little sad, bringing back memories from Christmas 2000, our first Christmas married and as a blended family and those that would follow; the events that changed our family, how we have changed, how our Christmases have changed, and how I have changed.

But that is life, things change, and every year is different, as it should be. Traditions are nice, but there are new ones that need to be made too.

And in fact, already this year we made some holiday change ups and did some things differently.

The weekend before Thanksgiving we had an early Thanksgiving get-together with Savannah, Leon, Cameron, Hayley, and Malcolm. That was nice, we did a very non-traditional Thanksgiving meal with charcuterie, meatballs, Italian sausage and green peppers, baked ziti, and some other stuff.  The photo on the card is from that day.

Then on Thanksgiving Day Kim and I flew to Florida to have Thanksgiving dinner with Alexa, Namaan, Christian, Ethan, and some extended Florida family and had the more traditional turkey and fixings.  Friday morning we all packed in the car and picked out a nice live Christmas tree and added some more decorations to the outside of the house.   Then we built a gingerbread house that the kids decorated.  So we were able to have Thanksgiving and jam some Christmas in there too with the kids.

We had a nice long weekend. It’s kind of fun Christmas tree shopping in shorts and sandals.

But for Christmas this year, unlike last year, we won’t have any of the kids and grandkids together.

And as I sit here thinking about it, I suppose that is my problem.  That is why this year it’s tough to get in the spirit.

And though each year in this letter, I try to corner the market on holiday self-pity, I realize in the end I need to count my blessings and recognize that we are not unlike most families.  Families change, some are called home, and we can’t keep our kids young forever. And sometimes we have to share the grandkids, or the nieces and nephews and as much as we would like to keep all of our traditions, there are those times we have to let some go or make new ones.

I heard a crazy story about a guy who started a movement where he writes and advocates for human extinction saying children are so damaging to the planet, the only answer is to let the human race die out by not having any more children.

Wow…talk about a Grinch.

Can you imagine not having any children around… especially at Christmas?

I am dealing with that issue right now.

It’s sad, he doesn’t know what it’s like to have kids.

He doesn’t have any daughters.

But on the other hand, he doesn’t have any daughters to tell him that he is cranky and what he should and shouldn’t write about.

Nor does he have daughters who tell him how much they love him.

I feel bad for that guy.

I hope he has a Merry Christmas.

 

But now it is getting late and though sometimes I find it difficult to sleep when I am home alone, I must not give in to the temptation to stay up, I must go to bed.

And I am reminded of another song from another movie we watched over the weekend, Irving Berlin’s White Christmas and Count Your Blessings (Instead of Sheep).

When I’m worried and I can’t sleep

I count my blessings instead of sheep

And I fall asleep counting my blessings…

 

Counting my blessings.

Well, there you have it, I think it did help a little.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Kim and me.  We hope you and your families have a blessed Christmas too.

 

Postscript:

Okay so it’s now closer to Christmas, and to make my daughter Alexa happy, in more traditional Christmas letter fashion, in case anyone is interested, here is a report on all my “Little Blessings”:

Savannah and Leon are doing great, living in their “new” house in a nice friendly neighborhood in Leesburg.  Leon is still teaching at Open Arms, a private Christian school and Savannah working for a surgical practice in Dulles called Surgical Specialists of Northern Virginia.

Cameron is awesome, twelve years old, and in the seventh grade.  He is now as tall as me, and his voice is really lowwwwww.  That’s kind of hard to get used to.  He is actively developing his basketball skills and in spite of his almost teenage status, he still pays attention to his Mimi and Pop Pop.

Hayley and Malcolm also are enjoying life in their “new” house in Leesburg, very close to Savannah and Leon. They have been busy doing some renovations and keeping up with the yard.  I keep telling Malcolm I know a guy when he is ready.  Hayley is in her 15th year teaching at Broad Run High School and Malcolm is an IT Project Manager for government websites.

Alexa and Namaan are still in Hollywood Florida where life at home is like being in Disney World.  Alexa still lawyering for GEICO and Namaan investigating claims for State Farm, they both mostly work on personal injury claims and investigations.

Ethan and Christian are growing up, Ethan is five and in Kindergarten and Christian is seven and in the second grade.  Christian plays baseball in a coach pitch league and is taking art classes.  Ethan is earning his stripes and belts in karate.

Kim and I are doing fine and managing to keep busy.  Kim is in her 29th year at Lincare and enjoys the relationships she has built over all those years.  I am enjoying my semi-retirement continuing to work part-time at the Sterling United Methodist Church and managing purchasing (auctions) and sales (Ebay) for Kim’s Vintage Cool Stuff while waiting patiently for Malcolm to hire me to cut his grass.

We spend as much time as we can with Kim’s mom in Pennsylvania and my mother and father on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.  Faye is doing great at Laurel View Village in Davidsville. Lady, my mother, is like the energizer bunny and is practically on the staff of the Mallard Bay Nursing and Rehab in Cambridge as she helps to take care of my dad, who all things considered, is doing okay too.

So as you can see we are blessed with daughters and great sons-in-law, grandchildren, parents, and Donny in our hearts.

And as that song that gets to me says “If there is love in your heart and your mind, you will feel like Christmas all the time.”

 

Maybe so…

 

And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Luke 2:10 

PPS:

I am not going to send too many cards and letters out in the mail this year.  I am going to keep it to folks who I think may not otherwise see it, mostly older folks like my sister who may not be active “online.”  So please feel free to share.

Christmas 2000 our first family Christmas card, complete with my name spelled incorrectly

 

Faye and her good friend Nancy at the LVV Christmas Party

 

On a warm November day, Lady and Pop out for a “walk” in his new wheels.

 

Me and Cam

 

Me, Ethan, and Christian

 

Ethan

 

Putting up the Florida Christmas tree

 

Cam is now way taller than Mimi

 

Happy Thanksgiving charcuterie from Broad Run Boards

 

Our Little Chickens Winery has been busy this fall producing a sangria called Hurricane Sangr-IAN, a pinot grigio named “Pee? No!”, a California Mixed Blacks simply called Red, and a happy holidays Merlot.

 

Nobody liked the tree I picked out

 

“Merry Christmas”
The Holiday Chronicles: Christmas, Joy to the World

The Holiday Chronicles: Christmas, Joy to the World

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Where  are you Christmas
Why can’t I find you
Why have you gone away

Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can’t I hear music play

My world is changing
I’m rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know

I’m not the same one
See what the time’s done
Is that why you have let me go

Those lyrics as you probably know are from the song “Where Are You Christmas” from the movie How the Grinch Stole Christmas in the year 2000. I have always liked that song, kind of sad though, there have been a few times it has made me cry.

 

It was sometime before Thanksgiving.  Hayley came by to visit.

“Hayley,” I said, “Christmas is cancelled this year.”

“Kim and I are going to your grandparents for Christmas, we are not going to do anything here.  You should go and spend Christmas with your nephews in Florida.”

I am not sure she was too happy, as I recall she didn’t say much or give me a hug or kiss goodbye when she left.

A couple weeks later Hayley called me to ask if she was seriously not invited to spend Christmas with us at my parents.

So I said, “Hayley seriously… which would you rather do…spend Christmas with your nephews in Florida or watch Fox 5 for two days?

She bought the tickets to Florida.

 

I had always put a lot of energy into our Christmases.

But for the first time in my life I didn’t have a Christmas tree.

And for the first time since Kim and I have been together, we didn’t send out a Christmas card with a  Christmas letter.

This year we just didn’t have the energy.

 

That first Christmas after Donny’s accident we tied a Christmas tree to the roof of my van and headed out to Deep Creek, Maryland.  We rented a house up in the woods, it snowed, we were all together, but most importantly we were away from what was familiar.  Nothing would seem familiar that Christmas, it was impossible.

For the next fourteen Christmases we returned to the routine that was familiar here at home. Celebrating on Christmas Eve with family and some friends who became family along the way.

But even after all that time, this year, now the 16th Christmas following the accident, the need to visit the unfamiliar once again seemed like the right thing to do.  And since my parents were going to be home alone for this Christmas, that seemed like the right place to do it.

 

Kim gave me a short book to read called the Christmas Box by Richard Paul Evans.  I finished it one evening a couple of weeks ago.

The message of the book was about the first gift of Christmas:

And this is because of the great gift of Christmas.  Because He came.

Coincidentally, the next morning I read a devotional that I get every day in my email.  I will admit, I don’t always take the time to read them, but that morning I did.

Once again, it was about that first gift of Christmas:

For God so Loved the World that he gave his only begotten Son.

 

I have a friend who lost her son just a few weeks before this Christmas.  For her, the journey has just begun.  For her this Christmas would be unfamiliar, unlike any before, but not by choice.

I heard a sermon recently and the preacher said, “Mary, Elizabeth, and John the Baptist tell us that this Christmas for you could be a time for healing…”

At the time with everything that Christmas wasn’t for us this year, that sounded like a good thing.

Though I thought to myself Christmas is a time for many things, and I hoped healing, but that may be easier said than done.

 

One Saturday earlier this month, Kim and I took our grandson Cameron to see the new Grinch movie.  Though I thought it was your typical “Grinch” story retold, I liked it and Cameron seemed to really like it.

A few days a later, I asked Kim to go back with me and watch the Grinch movie again.

“You want me to go with you to see The Grinch again?”  She asked a bit confused. “And why do you want to go see The Grinch again?”

“I don’t know… I just want to,” I told her, feeling a little silly.

“Okay…”

So we did.

There’s a scene in the movie when remorse sets in and The Grinch admits his crime to the citizens of Whoville who, to his dismay, remained joyous in spite of having all their Christmas presents and Christmas decorations stolen:

“It was me I stole your Christmas.

 I stole it because I thought it would fix something that happened a long time ago.

But it didn’t… and I am sorry, I am so very sorry for everything.”

 

Isn’t that the truth?

We can’t fix those things that happened a long time ago, sixteen years ago, or even in the last few weeks.

Things happen.

But despite our lack of energy and our desire to get away from reminders of those things…

Christmas can’t be stolen.

Because we have that first Gift of Christmas.

And because of that Christmas may, in fact, be about healing.

But maybe not healing in its direct meaning.

It may be more about the fact that we may never heal.

Because we may never need to.

Because He has us.

 

Joy to the World, the Lord is Come.

Merry Christmas

 

Epilogue

It’s the day before Christmas Eve. Unexpectedly, we are on our way to western Pennsylvania.  Short of some edits, I had basically finished writing this essay Wednesday evening, December 19.  The next morning Kim called me at work and told me that Nevin, the husband of our niece Cassandra, working the night shift, had lost his life in a mine accident.  He was a former Marine, a wonderful husband, a great father, and just a nice guy.  He leaves behind a wonderful wife, three beautiful young children, and many other family members.   Another Christmas that will be  unfamiliar for some and sadly familiar for others.  Another reminder that things happen and we can’t fix them.  Nevin is with Jesus now and the rest of us have to rely on our faith, the faith in the first Gift of this season.  A final message from that same sermon on healing, “We can keep the faith even in the face of our difficulties and grief, we can find joy in Jesus Christ.”

We can…I know it.

Please keep this family also in your prayers this Christmas.

The Christmas Letter

The Christmas Letter

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Kim and I have sent out a Christmas letter for as long as we have been together.  I have never shared it on the web so this is a first.  If you happen to be one of those folks who got one of these in the mail, make sure you drop to the bottom and read the follow up to the letter.

 

Christmas 2016

The Grinches Who Tried To Steal My Christmas

On the 16th of December, with Christmas Eve just eight short days away, my good friend from childhood, Matt, called me to see how I was doing.  Towards the end of the conversation he asked:

“Well I guess we should be getting your Christmas letter soon?”

“Man,” I said, “I haven’t even written it yet.  With everything that’s been going on I haven’t felt like it.”

Since the first Christmas that Kim and I spent together, we’ve been committed to always making Christmas special.  We created new traditions as a new family.  Even when it seemed like it would be impossible to enjoy even a moment of Christmas, like the Christmas of 2002, we did everything we could to make it enjoyable.  And it was memorable, as were the rest.

But let’s face it sometimes life throws you a few curve balls.  On top of that, kids grow up, have their own families, and begin to start their own traditions.

And the next thing you know, you are taking down all those boxes and containers with Christmas decorations, taking a look inside,  then putting the lids back on and taking them back up to the attic.

Because this is the year you decide to make Christmas simpler and only put up a few decorations.  You leave that big artificial tree that needed to be assembled and disassembled in the box; and you put up a real tree that you can throw out on the curb right after Christmas.

And instead of the elaborate outside lighting scheme you have traditionally done with the LED lights you bought from Sam’s Club and the iron tripod garden thingies you made to look like Christmas trees; you opt to just purchase a laser projection light so that you can project on the side of your garage with hardly any set up time or effort.

Then you come home one evening to find the reason that your new laser projector isn’t working properly is that there is no longer a new laser projection light at the end of your extension cord! Because, just like in How the Grinch Stole Christmas, someone has stolen your Christmas decorations!

Then you laugh to yourself as you realize that this is just the perfect event to cap off an already less than perfect Christmas.

And let’s be real here, there is a point where your now 28, 30, and 34 year old daughters have got to be sick of wearing the matching Christmas pajamas you have made them wear the last 16 or so years.

Yeah that’s right, what’s the point?

Maybe you shouldn’t write that Christmas letter…who is going to want to read about what a lousy Christmas season you are having anyway?

Then…from out of the blue…

You get a call from a member of your church family who just decided on his way home from work to call you to see how things were going.

Then the next week you get a call from that good childhood friend who also just wanted to see how you were doing.

And on top of that, you get that call while driving home after having just finished your second week of your new job.

Then once at home, you take a good look at the Christmas photo on your new Christmas cards that just got delivered the evening before because you didn’t feel like ordering them either.

And you see your three daughters all grown up and how beautiful they are;

And that you now have a son-in-law in the photo too;

And you see their kids…your grandchildren.

And you see your wife and how timelessly beautiful she is…

And you realize just how lucky you are:

To have friends who care enough about you to call;

To have a new work family;

To have beautiful daughters who have grown up and have started to build their own families;

To have a son in heaven waiting;

To have two wonderful grandsons and maybe a new granddaughter next July;

And last but not least,

To know that you were lucky to meet and marry a woman who you still think was an angel sent from heaven.

And all of a sudden you realize that maybe those Grinches didn’t steal your Christmas after all.

Maybe that person who took your new laser projector needed it more than you did and right now it is projecting on the front of his house with his beautiful children inside warm and making their own memories.

And you helped make that happen.

Yeah that’s right, maybe this Christmas is going to be just as memorable as all the rest that you have celebrated.

Because maybe you really do have “So Much to Be Thankful for This Holiday Season” after all, like your card says!

And maybe it was YOU who was the Grinch all along!

 

So, from ME and the rest of my beautiful family, we hope your Christmas is just as memorable as ours.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Kim, Curt, Savannah, Cameron, Hayley, Alexa, Namaan, Christian, and Donny too!

 

PS: Thanks to my friend Matt for providing the inspiration and kick I needed to write my Christmas letter; and thanks to Jesus for the rest.

(End of Letter)

Follow up:

I tried to mail most of our cards and letters out on Sunday the 18th.  On Thursday evening I was sitting on the couch reading while Kim was finishing up some work when the doorbell rang twice very quickly.  Thinking it was the UPS guy I walked to the front door and peeked out the window expecting to see the UPS truck idling in the street out front but when I saw no truck I realized someone must actually be at the door.  I opened the door to find no one on the porch, but there was wrapped gift sitting squarely at the top of the steps.  I went out on the porch and retrieved the gift, giving one more look around the yard and down the street, seeing no one I went back in explained what had just happened to Kim.

I unwrapped the gift to find someone had gifted us a new laser light.

With a brief moment of winkage, I thought to myself how amazing it was that the spirit of this Christmas continues.

I don’t know who out there made that thoughtful gesture but if you happen to be reading this, I thank you.

I set the new light up yesterday in the front yard.  But this time I thought I would make it a little harder to steal by attaching it to a cinder block with a heavy gauge bicycle lock.

It surely has been a memorable Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all!

You can steal this one if you want, but you are going to be moving a little slower