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Finding Grace

Finding Grace

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Would You Like A Lime With That Week Fifty Nine!

“The fear of death is gone…because what Christ did for me on the cross.   I’m saved by the grace of God…the person that faces Christ straight out and totally rejects Him will pay a fearful price…it’s separation from God and that in itself will be Hell…the person who rejects God in a sense is already in Hell in this world.”  (Billy Graham)

 

Already in Hell.

In this world.

 

Kim and I listened to an old Johnny Carson interview with Billy Graham from the early 70’s over the weekend.

Mr. Graham went on to say that at the time, 99% of Americans said that they believed in God.

That was 1973.

That’s changed quite a bit.

More recent surveys put that number for younger adults at less than 50% and for those 18 to 29 as low as 43%.

That’s a lot of people.

 

“Already in Hell in this world.”

 

I overheard my almost son-in-law Leon make a comment one day after hearing someone in his neighborhood click their car remote to lock their car doors.  In this case, he heard the car horn beep multiple times and said something like “Geez, do you have to do it eight times? Once is enough!”

 

Ah, Grasshopper, I thought to myself, you don’t understand.

Someday you will.

There is a reason that some of us need to hit that button more than once.

First of all, we can’t hear the beep.  Old folks push the button, then when we don’t hear anything, we push it again, and again all the time walking closer to the parked vehicle outside in the street until the comforting sound of the horn is confirmed.

 

Then, there is the fact that sometimes, we just don’t remember.

It’s kind of like taking a shower and not remembering if I washed that body part or not…

“Okay I’m done…wait, did I wash my feet yet?  I don’t remember! Ah, shoot I better wash them again just in case.”

It’s the same with locking my truck

I push the button and then moments later I think…

“Did I lock my truck doors?”

“I don’t remember…ah I will just push it again…and maybe I better walk towards it until I hear the horn just to be sure…”

 

Then there is also that inclination to believe that more is always better.

It comes from growing up and not having everything we think we should have had and the need to overcompensate  for that as adults.  We are determined to quell any doubt that what we set out to do, is accomplished. We have to get that last beep in.

“Ha!  I will make sure those darn doors are locked! I am going to push the button again! And maybe a couple more times to be sure! And maybe I should walk towards it until I hear the horn to be extra sure.”

 

 

This is kind of a weird week for me.

In one respect, a rite of passage in some sense, a graduation of sorts, into a new generation, an older generation.

Confirmed by the fact that I got my first Social Security check this week.

And my Medicare card is in the cabinet (though it’s not good until June).

 

But by contrast, I was also reminded that this week seven years ago I ran my first and only half marathon through the streets of my hometown of Oceanport, New Jersey, and neighboring Long Branch in the Long Branch Half Marathon on Team Move For Hunger.

What a difference seven years can make.

In 2014 I was fifty-seven about to turn fifty-eight.  This year I am sixty-four about to turn sixty-five.

And I have a Medicare card in the cabinet.

Half marathons I am afraid might now be just a thing of my past, serving only to make for nice Facebook memories.

I remember running over the Pleasure Bay Bridge, leaving Oceanport and entering Long Branch and catching up to this young lady who was running even slower than I was.  I remember thinking wow good for her to be out there doing this event, she didn’t have your typical runner’s body, in fact you could say she was a bit overweight and not someone you might expect to be out running a 5K, let alone a half marathon.

So we struck up a little conversation as we began the incline that was the Oceanport side of the bridge and I explained to her that this was my first half marathon and I expected her response to be the same.

But it wasn’t.

No, she said, “I try to run one of these a week. Yeah, last week I was in (someplace I don’t remember where she said) and the week before that I was in (someplace else).”

“Wow”, I said “Good for you!” and with that, I took advantage of the downhill Long Branch side of the bridge and increased my pace.

As I left her behind, I felt silly for my assumption and a little humbled as well.

I judged her.

And that was unfair and I was totally incorrect in my assumption.

 

 

Believe it or not, Kim and I still have our Christmas tree set up in the living room.

No, we didn’t forget to take it down.

I am not that far gone yet.

Apparently, I purchased such a cool-looking artificial tree that this year,  once we took the ornaments off, it kind of blended in with the rest of the forestry in my living room and became kind of fun to have.

And this week is also special to me because Saturday is the running of the Kentucky Derby, therefore this week is “Derby Week.”

So since I had the tree already up I decided to decorate it for the occasion.

I even made my meatballs already.

 

And finally, this week, after eleven years of non-production, The Little Chickens Winery fired up what will be the next vintage of Little Chickens Cabernet Sauvignon 2021.  Hopefully no snowstorms on bottling day this time.

 

 

So, for the most part, I am enjoying this week.

I am not running any half marathons but I am moving around as much as my aches and pains allow me to.  I will at least want to wait until my Medicare becomes active should I ever attempt to run another half marathon, I might need the hospitalization.

And as for you Grasshopper, my new soon-to-be son-in-law, patience.  You too will learn that with age comes wisdom…but also the need to hit the lock button multiple times.

And it is also true that with age and wisdom, more people come to God in their older years.  Maybe it is the desire to not fear death, maybe it is the desire to just accept the Grace of God and enjoy the happiness of inner peace…finally.

I hope that is true.

Because like my humbling experience of unfairly judging someone for the way that she looked, whether you are already in Hell in this world or not, nowadays, we still seem to do a lot of that.

Judging that is.

 

And so, I hope you watch the race on Saturday.

I hope you enjoy this nice weather.

I hope you relax with your beverage of choice and maybe eat a meatball.

I hope you get your vaccine and take your mask off while dining outside at a restaurant.

I hope you remember that you already washed your feet and lock your car only once.

 

But most of all, I hope you find grace.

 

 

Postscript:

The photo above is from April 27, 2014 before the start of the New Jersey Marathon and the Long Branch Half Marathon and includes the Move For Hunger Team including Coach Emily Cebulski in the center.

It’s hard to believe it has been 59 weeks since the pandemic officially kicked off.  Get your vaccine!

 

 

The Ghost of a Christmas Past … or the Year the Tannenbaum Bombed

The Ghost of a Christmas Past … or the Year the Tannenbaum Bombed

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Our Danish Blue Ice Christmas Tree
Our Danish Blue Ice Christmas Tree

Last week on the day after Thanksgiving, as is my family’s tradition, we put up our Christmas tree.

This year was a little different however because after many years of having an artificial tree, we went back to a live tree.  On the way home from having Thanksgiving dinner with the family in Western Pennsylvania, we stopped at the Moose Apple Christmas Tree Farm in Berryville, Virginia and cut down an unusual Danish Blue Ice Christmas tree.

We made a second stop along the way home to buy a new tree stand because I had thrown out the old one vindictively years ago.

And once that awesome tree was up in the living room I couldn’t help but think about the last time we had a live tree.

And why we had changed to an artificial tree.

And why I had thrown out that tree stand in disgust one day many years ago.

Then I remembered I had written about the events of that last live Christmas tree at the time, and went back in my files to find it.

So here is an edited version of the events of the day that ended the live Christmas trees in my house until last week.

Twas the weeks before Christmas… and here we go…

 

(The following was written December 2007 and edited December 2016)

 

The following story is something that was forwarded to my wife in her email that she shared with me:

Saying Grace in a Restaurant

 Last week, I took my children to a restaurant.

 My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace.

 As we bowed our heads he said, “God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert.  And Liberty and justice for all!  Amen!”

 Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, “That’s what’s wrong with this country.  Kids today don’t even know how to pray.  Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!”

 Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, “Did I do it wrong?  Is God mad at me?”

 As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my son and said, “I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.”

 “Really?” my son asked.

 “Cross my heart,” the man replied.

 Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), “Too bad she never asks God for ice cream.  A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.”

 Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal.  My son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

 He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.  With a big smile he told her, “Here, this is for you.  Ice Cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already.”

 (Source unknown)

 

I have always been taught that when you pray, you should ask for whatever you want.  So what is wrong with asking for ice cream?

December 4th (2007) was an interesting day.   I had a meeting at 2:00 pm in Fairfax (Virginia) and since this put me closer to home, I decided to finish working out the day at my house.

This particular day was very windy.  As I arrived at my house I was greeted by my relatively new, $350.00, full glass storm door hanging by one hinge, bent, and swinging back and forth in the strong winds.  Angry over the loss of my new door, I removed it from the door frame, carried it around back, and leaned it on its side against the deck.

Now in the back yard, I see that the Christmas tree  I had put up in the garden next to the Koi Pond, with all its decorations and lights, was also laying on its side; with half the tree, the lights and star top, in the Koi pond. Cold and discouraged, I went inside to finish my work.

Around 4:30 pm I received a frantic call from my youngest daughter Savannah on my cell phone.  She was coming home from her second day of working in the Merrifield (Virginia) area and got on the Beltway heading south towards the Wilson Bridge and Maryland, instead of getting on the inner loop heading north as she should have.  While I was trying to talk her through getting turned around on the Beltway, my wife calls me on the house phone also frantic, because neither Savannah nor I am picking up her calls.  So I am now standing in the kitchen with the house phone to one ear with Kim, and my cell phone to the other ear with Savannah, when the cats begin to fight with each other.

The cats zoom by me into the living room and get up under the Christmas tree that we had just set up and decorated over Thanksgiving weekend.

There I stand, in the kitchen with a phone to each ear, having two conversations at once, while I watch in horror as the cats topple over the Christmas tree.  To make matters worse, this year I had found the “the bomb” Christmas tree stand… The one that cost a bunch of money; the one with the foot operated ratcheting jaws that allows you to stand holding the tree straight while you ratchet down the jaws around the tree trunk with your foot.

The tree stand that in addition to all those other cool things holds four gallons of water and like the Titanic, is “untopple-overable.”

Now I am the one who is frantic, so I told my wife I had to get off the phone while I righted the tree, but I still had to get Savannah turned around on the Beltway.

Now in the living room with the Christmas tree in one hand and the cell phone to my ear in the other, the doorbell rings.  Then it rings again.

It’s the UPS guy.

He is persistent because his delivery requires a signature.  After some initial hesitation, I lean the tree against wall, I tell Savannah to call me back in couple of minutes, and I answer the door.

The UPS guy is a nice guy, but he likes to talk.   As we stood in the doorway now without a storm door, I told him about the door, and the cats, and the Christmas tree. I was trying to get him to realize that it was bad timing and I was in a hurry.  Of course he wanted to share his cat stories too, and told me he thought he remembered a storm door on the house; then he laughed a little.  Me, not finding anything funny, and Savannah now calling back, I finally just told him I had to go.

With Savannah now heading in the right direction on the Beltway, I get a call on my cell phone from someone from work needing to discuss some important work stuff.  While on that call, still concerned about Savannah, the house phone rings again and thinking it might be her I answer it while still on the cell with my co-worker.  Now for the second time today, I am in the kitchen with a phone to each ear.  This time it is not Savannah however, it is Alexa (oldest daughter,  and I can tell by the sound of her voice that she has a problem, or maybe better said, thinks she has a problem).

“Alexa can I call you back,” I asked hurriedly.

“Well ooookaay” she said obviously not happy.

Feeling bad, I said, “Look Alexa; the Christmas tree fell down,  I have 4 gallons of water in the carpet, the storm door blew off,  and I am on the phone with somebody from work…Is there something really wrong?”

“Yes” she said. “I have a big problem!”

“Is it an emergency? Are you bleeding?  Can it wait a few minutes???” I pleaded.

“Noooo, it’s not an emergency” she said with a heavy sigh.

“Okay please let me call you back”

Having heard all that, my co-worker realizes it’s probably not the best time to be talking to me about work problems and she hangs up the phone too.

Now I have a moment with no one on the phone.  I begin to clean up the busted antique ornaments, the keepsakes from the kids’ first Christmas’s, the shattered Steelers ornaments and the other colored balls, when my wife comes home.

Seeing that I am all worked up and dramatic, she acts like it’s no big deal and says just what I didn’t need to hear:

“Honey, it’s just a Christmas tree, they are just some ornaments, and it’s just a door that I didn’t like anyway, so get over it!”

“I hate it when she says stuff like that…she wasn’t here…she doesn’t know…you don’t just get over it,”  I said to myself dejectedly.

Feeling defeated, I get out the wet vac, pull up the carpet, suck up the water, start blowing air under the carpet, vacuum the rest of the mess, and move the tree to the other end of the room.

Then, on top of all that, I make dinner, because Savannah, who is now finally home from her Beltway adventure… is hungry.

Sitting down at the table ready to eat, I ask my wife to say The Blessing because I am too beaten and broken and apparently way to dramatic to be thanking anyone for anything.

And her prayer went like this:

“Dear God,

Thank you for this food we are about to eat.

Thank you for getting us all home safely from work.

Thank you for caring for all those who we know who are sick.

Thank you for the wind that blew the door off the house because I didn’t like that door any way and now I can get a new one.

Thank you for the cats who knocked over the Christmas tree and spilled the water and ruined the carpet because now I can get the wooden floors I want.

Thank you for everything.

In your name we pray,

Amen”

 

“Amen” …I said…

The End

 

And that is how it happened now nine years ago today.

Like the little boy praying for ice cream in the opening story I am sure God wasn’t mad at Kim for her prayer (though He may have been a little mad at me for my behavior).

Though Kim never got her wooden floors in that room, she did get her new door.

And like my wife said nine years ago, “it’s just a Christmas tree, they are just some ornaments;” I guess that is not what Christmas is all about anyway.

Because like a little ice cream, Christmas is good for the soul too.

And  it doesn’t really matter whether it’s a live tree or an artificial tree at all.

And I suppose I still need to get over that…because I don’t really know if my soul is good already!

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!

I just cut my tree down at the Moose Apple Christmas Tree Farm in Berryville, VA
Pulling my tree on a sled after cutting it down at the Moose Apple Christmas Tree Farm in Berryville, VA