Musings of an Aging Nobody

Last Saturday I was sitting at my computer working on my 2016 taxes when I heard a voice from up above (up the stairs) asking:

“Curt, are going to do anything to help me with cleaning the house today?”

There it was.

The reminder.

The reminder that nothing,  and I mean nothing,  will ever be as important as whatever it is your wife is doing at any given time on any given day.

I have learned that lesson over and over and over, and yet I still mess up.

I learned this while working in the garden remember?  Whenever my wife said she was going to plant a shrub, I got my shovel, because I knew that meant I was going to plant a shrub.

Needless to say, after the aforementioned question was posed to me about helping to clean the house,  I immediately jumped into action grabbing the nearest vacuum I could find and proceeded to get to work.

“What was I thinking?  Why would I think that spending time working on filing our taxes was important?”  I said to myself, not daring to utter that thought too loud, grateful for the noise of the vacuum.

Prior to making that decision to  sit down at my computer I had already:

Gone to the bank to make Kim’s car payment.

Gone to the dry cleaners.

Gone to the Super Fresh to pick up “sprinkles” for the washer, and the rest of the ingredients we needed to make the chili we wanted for dinner.

Gone to Target to get a new shower curtain.

And to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription.

Then…

Upon returning home, I put all the ingredients together and started our chili in the crock pot.

It wasn’t until then that I made that fatefully bad decision to work on the taxes.

I have made bad decisions before.

Like the time my wife told me Valentine’s Day wasn’t important, it was in fact, according to Kim, “just like any other day.”

Wikipedia says the significance of Valentine’s Day is the celebration of love and affection. In my house, at least in my opinion, every day is a celebration of love and affection! Therefore I agreed, it was like any other day!

But like an idiot, I took what my wife said to me that day literally, and thought, heck I am off the hook.

But a few days after Valentine’s Day that year, I learned differently.  It was important and when she said it wasn’t important and it was just like any other day I should have instinctively known; “wasn’t important” and “just like any other day”  meant that it was in fact very important and I should have acted accordingly.

So instead,  on this particular day after Valentine’s Day, I found myself out scouring the grocery stores and Hallmark stores for whatever was left over from all those guys who didn’t take the bait, in a desperate effort to save my sorry butt.

One young lady clerk scanning my now greatly discounted Valentine’s Day decorations and favors asked me if I was stocking up for next year.

“No.” I replied, “I am getting myself out of jam for this year.”

So I took all that stuff home, decorated the house, made a card, made some spaghetti ala Lady and the Tramp, opened a bottle, lit some candles, turned out the lights, and had Dean Martin’s That’s Amore playing when Kim walked in the front door home from work.

And while I dodged another bullet,  I learned another valuable lesson.

 

This July 1st we will be married 17 years.

Seventeen years! Seventeen years and I still feel like a newlywed!

But, like a newlywed, I am still learning.

Learning, that it doesn’t matter how many buts you try to string together:

But, but, but, but…

(followed by)

I thought, I thought…

(and)

you said, you said…

Nope,  just face it, you are toast…  get your shovel,  put the spaghetti water on, whatever you need to do.

I have learned.

I know now that when my wife says:

“Curt, are you going to do anything to help me with cleaning the house today?”

I immediately drop whatever I am doing and go for the nearest vacuum.

 

But on the other hand,  there are those days when she asks:

“Which are bigger?  The KB’s or the MB’s?”

And I am immediately reminded of why I couldn’t wait to marry her in the first place.

So,

“When a moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie” or a like a shovel maybe,

don’t try to make any sense out of it, it’s Enigma Day, just buy the candy!

It will be worth it!

 

Postscript:

There is always a chance that once I hit the “Publish” button on this particular essay, I may be learning yet another lesson.

So if you notice the title to my website has changed to “Musings of an Aging and Lonely Nobody” please pray for me.

Happy Valentine’s Day