The Birds and the Bees, Finally
Would You Like A Lime With That Week Eight
Another week.
I got the sense this week that people are starting to get tired of this new lifestyle.
Normally on this upcoming weekend, the first Saturday in May, I would have the homemade meatballs cooking, the Derby decorations up, and the TV’s all on for the Kentucky Derby festivities. This year that will be the first Saturday in September. At least I hope.
I was busy since my last post.
I successfully “painted the roots” and made my wife even more beautiful.
On Sunday afternoon the remaining large potted plants that made the trip to “Plant Camp” back in October returned home again for the summer.
But I also must admit, since that last post, I broke the rules and made a quick twenty four hour visit to see my parents.
The last couple of weeks I had been more concerned that I hadn’t seen them and the phone calls were getting a little more weird and stressful each time.
My parents live in a small town called Woolford on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, west of Cambridge. Their house is on the water, on a tributary of the Little Choptank River that empties into the Chesapeake Bay in the area of Taylor’s Island.
At the time I wrote this Dorchester County Maryland had the fourth lowest number of Coronavirus cases in Maryland with 51. In fact with the exception of Wicomico County with the city of Salisbury, the Eastern Shore counties are all at the lower end of the list.
Never the less, without any traffic on the roads, I made good time and didn’t stop until I got in their driveway.
The last time I had been out there was the weekend of the 9th Annual Crawfish Boil and Muskrat Stew Festival on March 1st, so it had been about eight weeks. That’s a long time when you are used to making that trip every two or three weeks.
The sun porch where we tend to spend most of our time faces the river, their pier and bulkhead. In the yard there are a couple of trees, a flag pole, and two large purple martin houses high up on poles. Purple martins like open areas which makes the waterfront yard perfectly accommodating. By this time of the year, the purple martin houses were full of activity with birds swooping back and forth from their perches on their houses to the yard, and back again.
At one point, my mother and I were sitting at the table looking out the window and there were two birds rolling around in the grass.
So I said to my mother, “look at those two birds out there… they are really fighting!”
If you know my New Jersey mother you know she is awesome. You also know she has never been shy about saying whatever is on her mind whenever she feels like it. She has no filter. You always know where you stand with my mother.
In this case, her rather loud response was:
“THEY’RE HAVING SEX!”
“THEY’RE NOT FIGHTING!”
“THEY’RE HAVING SEX!
“Oh” I said rather sheepishly. “I thought they were fighting.”
“THEY’RE HAVING SEX!”
“THEY’RE NOT FIGHTING!”
“Gee,” I thought to myself.
For the first time in my now almost sixty four years, I think my mother just had the “SEX” conversation with me.
In her own way, we just had “the talk.”
For me I wanted it to be like “C’mon Ma, yuck, is that what they are doing? No, please tell me they’re fighting…!”
But no, they weren’t fighting.
THEY WERE HAVING SEX!
This is awkward…
But how was I to know?
I am naive about these sorts of things.
While I was there I was able to check and clean the gutters, a chore that included my dad insisting that he climb the ladder to check my check of the gutters. Thankfully the quality control part of the gutter cleaning process included only one gutter section.
I also changed a couple of light bulbs, replaced a shower head, and fixed a smoke alarm.
We talked about memories of their growing up in our hometown of Oceanport and memories of me and my siblings growing up there too.
We stayed up late.
In the morning, we assembled and raised on a pole, a third purple martin house in the yard. It was a birthday present from my mother to my father.
Probably a good thing because with all that sex going on, the purple martins were sure to need another boarding house pretty soon.
My father and mother then brought down the American flag, now frayed from the winter winds and needing to be replaced.
After all that was done, I packed up the truck, and headed back home.
I felt good about the time I spent and what I was able to accomplish. My parents were grateful for the visit. I was a lot less worried.
And best of all, I now understood:
“THEY’RE NOT FIGHTING!”
“THEY ARE HAVING SEX!”
Needless to say, I couldn’t wait to get home to tell my wife what I had learned!
Post Script:
As of today in Virginia, medical and dental offices are starting to open up, and elective surgeries will begin again. A good sign.
Don’t forget to continue to keep those healthcare workers and their families in your prayers. Remember “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:8)
As well as all those sick or compromised from the virus and all other health issues.
Also those non healthcare caregivers working to take care of a loved one while isolated at home.
And those families who have lost loved ones.
And those who have lost jobs and businesses.
And keep reaching out to those who may need some attention.
