Browsed by
Tag: curtchristiansen

A Bad Day Fishing is…

A Bad Day Fishing is…

Comments 2 comments

As skillfully as a surgeon might remove a fishhook embedded in the skin of a human being, a fish has the ability to remove bait that has also been embedded by the fishhook.  The gentle tugs on the line as well as the sometimes not so gentle has the fisherman waiting in anticipation for that big pull and the awesome feeling of the fish attempting to swim away, hook in mouth.

But more often than not the end result is a fishing line reeled in exposing the empty hook that once supported a nice big chunk of peeler crab.

If you have ever eaten a crab and you cut the body in half with your little crab knife, then quarter it to expose the muscles used to power the swimming fins and the walking legs and the claws,  then you are familiar with the work involved in picking a crab in order to eat it.

A fish doesn’t seem to have that problem. They can pull and suck the crab meat from around a fishhook swiftly and with ease.  Like those surgeons in an operating room I imagine four of them planning the crab meat lumpectomy from my hook:

“Okay you two guys take the right side, me and Junior here will take the left.  And be careful not to engage with that shiny pointy thing in the middle or it’s curtains.”

And there you have it.

The line pulls, the pole may bend, the anticipation builds, and you begin to reel your line in but then everything goes limp.

As the excitement quickly wanes the hook finally breaks the surface showing the bait removed with just a bit of shell remaining from the area where the swimming fin connected to the body.

In medical terms, a CABG (aka Coronary Artery Bypass Graft) but in fishing with peelers, it stands for Crab-All Bait Gone.

 

Kim and I went on vacation last week.

That may not sound like a big deal to most but in our case, other than visiting kids, it’s the first time we have done such a thing since 2014.  I know that because I am reminded of it daily by the Delaware Surf Fishing License plate on the front of my truck with the “14” decal which I leave there on purpose as a motivator.

But we didn’t revisit the Delaware beaches, we based out of the house in Woolford on Maryland’s Eastern Shore and as we explored those activities we don’t usually have time for, mostly in Dorchester County and to the north, Talbot County where Easton, St. Michaels, and Tilghman Island are located.

We brought our bikes and our kayaks.

We visited St. Michaels and biked Tilghman Island and discovered a cool place to eat, drink, and even spend the night called Lowe’s Wharf Marina Inn just on the mainland side near the bridge to Tilghman Island.

We took the short family-operated Oxford Bellevue ferry ride from the St. Michaels side to Oxford.

We got to know the neighborhood better by kayaking Fishing Creek and Church Creek.

While kayaking and biking on Blackwater National Wildlife Refuge we observed many bald eagles, a variety of herons, ospreys, and other wetland birds.

On our kayak trip on the Blackwater River Kim was reluctant to approach something in the water (she thought it was an alligator), so I kayaked close to it and poked it with my paddle assuring her it was an old stump covered in mud or something like that.   On our return trip, we were more than a little surprised to see our “stump” moving fairly efficiently across to the other side of the river.  Describing our experience to our friend Mare who has volunteered at Blackwater for the last sixteen or seventeen years, she explained our paddling stump was more likely a large snapping turtle.

I was pretty happy he didn’t raise his head while I was poking him with my paddle.

It could have got very messy in my kayak.

 

We spent a night in Salisbury and attended the Salisbury University Seagulls’ opening football game where we were able to watch the debut of their new placekicker and field goal kicker, the son of friends of ours, kick seven extra points and numerous kickoffs.

We did some crabbing and ate some crabs.

 

And wanting to learn more about the history of the area and the role Harriet Tubman played, we returned to the Harriet Tubman Underground Railroad Visitor’s Center to spend some additional time reading and learning.  Then we drove around the area and visited some of the sites significant to her life in Dorchester County.  Madison, the next town down the road from Woolford towards Taylor’s Island in Harriet’s time was known as Tobacco Stick and it is there she worked lumbering, boat building, and working the docks.  Today it is the site of a marina, a campground, a fun restaurant called Maryland Blue, and the crab processing plant where I buy my peelers, the Madison Bay Seafood Co.

 

Oh yeah, my peelers.

I didn’t fish as much as I expected to this trip but I think I got out maybe three evening high tides and one morning.

In all that time, however, I only caught one fish.

A croaker, also known locally as a hardhead.

I threw him back.

But I got lots of bites, and experienced many moments of anticipation, only to be followed by disappointment.

Mostly, I very generously fed the fish providing the opportunity for them to perform those crab meat lumpectomies on my peeler crab bait over and over again.

 

But you know what they say about a bad day fishing.

And the same could be said for everything else I think.

I shared some photos and links below.

 

 

Postscript:

I have been traveling to this area for a long time but I have learned more about this part of Maryland in the past year than I have in the last thirty or so.  There is much to learn and much to do in the rivers, swamps, and country roads of Dorchester County and neighboring counties.  I would highly recommend a visit.

A peeler crab by the way is one that has developed its soft new shell under its existing hard shell as it prepares to shed, expand its new shell and grow to a bigger size.  Fish love them.

Tomorrow will be one year since my dad was discharged from the hospital and entered a rehab facility in Easton.  He lasted about three days there before falling, returning to the hospital, and ultimately being discharged to the facility where he now resides in Cambridge.  It’s been a year of adjustment, but he is in a good place.

 

Getting ready to kayak
Biking, waiting for the draw bridge on Tilghman Island
The swimming stump
At Lowes Wharf Marina
Kim and I with Sammy Sea Gull
Kayaking
Harriet and me
On the ferry to Oxford, we were the only vehicle
The sun going down on Fishing Creek
Pelicans on Hooper’s Island
St. Michaels

 

More Kayaking
Bald Eagle over the Blackwater River
Raising the new colors for the 2022 season
Crabs

 

Lowes Wharf Marina and Inn

Harriet Tubman Underground Railroad National Historical Park

Blackwater National Wildlife Refuge

Blackwater Paddle & Peddle Adventures

Oxford Bellevue Ferry

Maryland Blue 

 

New Jersey Turnaround

New Jersey Turnaround

Comments 6 comments

This weekend, Kim was up visiting her mom, so after a morning work meeting on Saturday, I did a quick trip up to New Jersey to help with some family business.

A New Jersey Turnaround so to speak.

The nagging song in my head the last couple of weeks has been Las Vegas Turnaround by Hall and Oates.

Las Vegas Turnaround was on the album Abandoned Luncheonette released in November of 1973.

I wasn’t a really big Hall and Oates fan back then in that I don’t think I ever bought any of their music and besides, you could hear plenty of it on the radio.

But I remember the first time I heard this song.

 

To my parents, it was known as Hi-Henry’s.  Then for a little while, the Cat’s Meow and I am told, JM’s River Edge.  Then for many years and up until recently, it had been the Casa Comida Restaurant.

In my life experience, however, in the early to mid-1970’s, it will always be remembered as Barry’s.

Crossing over one of the two bridges that connected Oceanport with Long Branch, the Branchport Bridge, the old building, and the prominent sign always greeted you on your right.  I remember that sign growing up, in whatever iteration it was at the time.

 

The last couple of years, other than two day trips, once for my brother Carl’s memorial service and once for my Aunt Joan’s funeral, I hadn’t been back to New Jersey.  In fact, the last time I spent a night there was the night before my brother passed away.

But in late July Kim and I had the opportunity to go back up to celebrate my sister’s 70 th birthday and visit an old friend, Monmouth Park, on Haskell Stakes day.  It was a nice weekend and it was nice to be back.

And then yesterday, arriving late in the afternoon, I made the nostalgic trip over the Branchport bridge with the building that was Barry’s in my teenage years, now empty and for sale on the right as I left Oceanport.  Then I made the left on Atlantic Avenue to head to the ocean to visit another place that had significance in my life growing up, the North Long Branch beaches.

 

In 1973, the legal age to be served alcohol in New Jersey was eighteen. Even though I didn’t turn eighteen until June of 1974, that didn’t keep me from being one of the regulars at Barry’s.  Some long hair, an early attempt at growing some facial hair, my brother’s draft card, and a good friend who was already eighteen who worked there, and I was good to go.

I even remember nights we closed the joint and ended up sitting at a table having a beer with the owner, Barry himself.

Barry’s always had good live music.  Tim McLoone, of McLoone’s restaurant fame, played there regularly early in his career.  He is somewhat of a legend along the section of the Jersey shore where I am from but with a restaurant now at the National Harbor he is known in the Washington DC area as well.

Another band whose name escapes me would let me join them and play harmonica occasionally.  That sometimes went well and other times did not.

And then there was my favorite band, Guildersleeve (I think that is how it was spelled).  A versatile band with a female and a male lead singer.  There were a couple of songs, however, during their sets, when the bass player would sing.  One was Drive my Car by the Beatles.  The other was Las Vegas Turnaround.

 

I guess going back to Oceanport after a couple of years, spending some time in the picnic area of Monmouth Park on Haskell Day, and having that song playing over and over in my head recently has made these last few weeks a bit nostalgic for me.

It was about this time of the year 44 years ago that I was getting prepared to leave Oceanport.  I remember at the time friends telling me I would be back in three months, and that I would never be able to leave Oceanport.  And though that first year I probably spent more of my weekends in Oceanport than I did away from Oceanport, I never did go back there to live.

But hey, who says you can’t go back?

Who says you can’t go home?

Somebody from Jersey maybe?

But it’s alright.

Yeah, it’s alright.

Unlike Bon Jovi though, I am still waiting to crash into my pot of gold.

But it’s alright.

In fact, it’s good.

 

The Branchport bridge with “Barry’s” in the background
North Long Branch
Where The Choo Choo Go

Where The Choo Choo Go

Comments 0 Comment

I have been home these past five days.

Quarantined, under house arrest, battling and recovering from my first bout of Covid-19.

In fact, I should probably apologize for my last post which I should have never posted because I was going down like the Titanic with a temperature of 103 as I was trying to write.  But not wanting to waste the time already invested I hit the publish button.

Sorry.

Though being sick is no fun, there is something oddly relaxing about being in this situation.  I can’t see anyone, no one wants to see me; I am forbidden until I meet certain criteria to return to work; so other than seeing my wife who has been sleeping in another room I am just home chilling.

Needless to say, with nothing better to do, I watched TV, listened to podcasts, watched some races, and slept a lot.

Well, mostly I slept a lot.

I could argue that Mike Lindell commercials, Balance of Nature commercials, and especially The Gutfeld Show, are all three good reasons to turn off Fox News and watch CNN.

So, I did, I watched some CNN.

And, I began listening to the Barak Obama and Bruce Springsteen podcast Renegades: Born in the USA.

Somehow this news overload got me thinking first about our Vice Presidents and how they really got to be Vice Presidents. You can’t really argue it was their qualifications to govern as our current example proves, more than their ability to gain votes for the Presidential candidate.

I imagined Obama sitting around with his team trying to find the most racist old white guy Democrat to balance out his ticket and maybe gain some votes from other racist old white guys of all parties.

And Trump probably chose Mike Pence to help grab the evangelical vote and help balance out his negatives.

Of course, the most obvious example of this would be Kamala Harris, this time balancing out the old racist white guy with potentially the first female Vice President of color. That was a ringer in my opinion.  The slam dunk. And it seems to have worked out well. At least in terms of the election result.

 

Looking back though, there was no way, in my opinion, Joe Biden was going to be allowed to lose that election regardless of whether you thought he was the best candidate or the worst candidate.

So then I began to wonder, now that we are in this mess with really no solution in sight to resolve it, does anyone who worked so hard to get us here have any regrets?

I thought about the Renegades, Barak Obama and Bruce Springsteen, having listened to some of their podcasts.  And couldn’t help but imagine what they might be thinking off the microphone.

But not only that.

Barak and Bruce…somehow the idea of the two of them working together conjured up more of a familiar visual for me.  I thought about the parallels to another population who needed saving, though fictitious, and imagined a conversation like this:

“Hey Boss, I think we are in some deep do-do.”

“Yeah Mr. Boss, it doesn’t look we are having a house party tonight anymore does it?”

“So Boss, what should we do?  We helped to get ourselves into this mess, how do we get out of it.”

“Well Mr. Boss, maybe it’s time for a new sheriff in Washington to save the country. I got a plan.”

“Okay Boss, let’s hear it.”

“We’ll work up a Number 6 on ’em.”

“A Number 6”? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that one, Boss.”

Well, Mr. Boss, that’s where we go a-ridin’ into Washington, a-whompin’ and a-whumpin’ on my motorcycle, and then we…”

 

Kind of like Blazing Saddles and saving the poor people of Rock Ridge right?

Blazing Saddles, the 1974 movie by Mel Brooks that satirized racism and bigotry.  Brooks used humor to exemplify the extremely stupid behaviors of those who practiced it both in the historical context of white people settling in the west and their mistreatment of immigrant groups such as the Chinese and the Irish; the African Americans; and also the attitudes and treatment towards Native Americans; but also to show the idiocy of the bigotry of modern times.

It is fairly well accepted that Blazing Saddles would not have been able to be made today.

But I imagined a modern-day politically correct version, focused only on saving the country, not having anything to do with racism. This dynamic duo the “Renegades,” Barak and Bruce ‘a-ridin’ into Washington, D.C on Bruce’s motorcycle wearing cowboy and motorcycle boots on a mission to rescue the U.S.A.  from sure collapse.

With Barak Obama acting as the Sheriff Bart character.

And Bruce Springsteen would be like Jim, the “The Waco Kid” his trusty partner, but in this case maybe we would have to call him “The Jersey Kid” or the “The Asbury Kid.”

And Joe Biden to be the perfect Gabby Johnson.

And though it may be a stretch but maybe only to some degree, Kamala Harris playing a Governor William J. Le Petomane like part.

Then how about Nancy Pelosi as a Californian Lili Von Shtupp (“a wed wose, how womantic”).

Of course, the villain, the Hedley Lamarr role would have to be Donald Trump as evil as he is alleged to be.

 

Yeah, wouldn’t it be great if we could write a script with someone…anyone, riding into Washington, setting the government straight and our national policies, and once their work is complete, ride humbly off on their motorcycle into the Jersey Turnpike skyline?

I have said before I don’t want to nor am I capable of writing about politics, at least not seriously.

I even proposed to support Mickey Mouse for President in the 2016 election.

And as silly as the idea of a Sheriff Barak and “The Asbury Kid” saving our country sounds, I am praying for a miracle, any miracle, even one this crazy.

Because the reality is, just like Mongo, when asked why it was important where the Choo Choo go:

“Don’t know. Mongo only a pawn in the game of life.”

 

That’s me too, I don’t know either for I, am only a pawn in the game of life too.

 

It may be time to break out the paddle boards.

 

 

“He conquered fear and he conquered hate.

He turned our night into day.

He made his blazing saddle

A torch to light the way.”

(from the theme song “Blazing Saddles,” sounds like something worth praying for? I rooting for this guy)

Feet Faddish Three

Feet Faddish Three

Comments 0 Comment

It was hot today.

I got a reminder that three years ago on another July 13th I posted a photo of my feet, next to the pool I had just opened and the palm tree I had recently planted. Feet Faddish I called it. Then in September of 2021 I returned to my lawn chair with Feet Faddish Two.

Once again it’s the 13th of July and since it was hot and I was tired from working outside, I thought I would stop for the day, and revisit my feet, my pool, and my palm tree once more.

So I inflated my pool, and positioned my lawn chair so that my feet would rest “under” one of my palm trees.  My palm trees are growing but I had a scare in April when we had an unexpected cold snap.  My palm trees are still young so I wrap them in bubble wrap to protect them from the cold in the winter.  I made the mistake of unwrapping them a little early this year and I thought I had lost a number of trees.  Though most have come back, one didn’t make it and a couple more are struggling.

If you look close you can see on the other side of my pool is my Par One golf course green so the pool can double as a water hazard.

My sister-in-law Teesha has recently made the decision to retire to the somewhat mythically sounding place called Margaritaville, in South Carolina.  I am happy for her.  With my brother Carl now gone it has to be hard to remain in that house.

 

The Fourth of July week was pretty cool. Kim and I got to hang out with all the local family on the fourth.  Later in the week we took Cameron out to the Eastern Shore to see my dad who he hadn’t seen in a while and spend some time fishing and crabbing.  My California brother Gary was on the east coast with my sister in law Marie so we got to hang out a little.

 

Sunday morning I got a call from my old friend Donny R.   We grew up together, spending time in school, the Boy Scouts, and Oceanport Hook and Ladder.  Donny was a police officer in Oceanport and is now retired in upstate New York.  His birthday is close to mine in June so I wished him a late happy birthday.  Before I left New Jersey, we would often throw ourselves a combined birthday party in his backyard.

 

It was nice to hear from him.  He told me he lives about 20 miles from Saratoga Racecourse and I told him that visiting Saratoga was on my bucket list so he said we were welcome anytime.

Though it was very nice to hear from him, when you are my age, phone calls from old friends from home often come with some bad news too.  In the case of Donny’s phone call, it came with lots of bad news, the passing of three friends I knew from Oceanport.

 

Karen S.  was the daughter of two of my mom and dad’s best friends so we saw a lot of each other growing up though she was a bit younger.  And she ultimately married another friend of mine from Oceanport.

Larry Y.  was another Oceanport guy and member of the Oceanport Hook and Ladder.

Kevin A. was an Oceanport guy who was also a member of Oceanport Hook and Ladder.  Like Donny, Kevin was also a police officer in Oceanport.  My favorite Kevin story is the night he found me and my buddy Joe (who I have written about a number of times before) after a couple of beers attempting to get Joe on the back of my motorcycle so I could take him home.  Instead, Kevin nicely suggested we put Joe in the Police car and he followed me on my motorcycle first to Joe’s address to drop him off and then to my house where I waved him thanks and went safely to bed.

That was the mid 70’s.  It probably wouldn’t happen that way now, and probably shouldn’t.

 

In less than a week we will acknowledge another year of our Donny being gone, this year will make twenty years believe it or not.  His accident occurred July 19, 2002.

 

I have heard two messages discussing fear in the last week both originating from a similar part of our world on the Eastern Shore. One from our buddy Bill Ortt in Easton, and one in the Harriet Tubman story.  Harriet’s birthplace was just a few miles from my parent’s house in Dorchester County.

I must admit Harriet has become my new Sheroe in recent days and I have been trying to learn as much as I can about her.  Maybe that is another story for another day.

 

Trusting the information Kim received from the policeman she spoke with on the phone, Donny experienced no pain. But I have always been troubled by the concern of whether he experienced fear.

We know Savannah experienced fear that day and is still working to sort that out.

 

Bill Ortt’s message included quotes from Zig Ziglar, an author and motivational speaker who died in 2012.

Rev. Ortt explained that Zig would propose you could look at fear two ways:

One is FEAR meaning “Fear Everything and Run.”

The other is FEAR meaning “Face Everything and Rise.”

 

 

In Harriet’s story from the movie anyway, she is helped by a “conductor” on the Underground Railroad, Reverend Green who before she left on her first journey to freedom would advise her that “fear is our enemy. Trust in God. The North Star will guide you, follow the North Star…”

 

It’s a tough challenge but facing our fears does allow us to learn and grow.

And, trusting in God.

It worked for Harriet.

I know our Donny trusted in God, and that helps to mitigate the sorrow.

 

I don’t fear the day God calls me.  And like my wise friend Donny R. said, every day we wake up and get out of bed is another birthday and should be celebrated.

 

It’s not that I don’t get scared.  Like those times Kim is almost home from visiting her mother and the house is a wreck. But that is a different kind of fear.

Listen to Rev. Green and Father Bill.

Fear is your enemy.  Trust in God.  Let the stars guide you. And if you can’t see the stars follow the river.

Face your fears and rise up.

 

And as I remember the events of July 13, 2019:

“Cameron told me this morning that when I am not alive anymore, he wants my truck.

That caught me off guard a little but hey you never know.

You never know what God’s plan is.

 

So today, I think I will just sit by the pool, next to my little palm tree, and look at my feet.

The garage will be there tomorrow.

Me, and days like this, may not.”

 

Today was a day for me to take a little break.

And though I am really happy for my sister-in-law and her move to the mythical place called Margaritaville, I am sure that comes with some fears.

For now, me, with my little pool, my little palm trees, my banana trees, my one-hole golf course, I have all the amenities I need to rest my feet in my mythical place I can call “Box Wine Ville” if I want.

Fear will be there tomorrow, me, and days like this may not.

Trust in God, He will guide you.

 

Postscript:

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of Karen, Larry, and Kevin.

I’ll Stand

I’ll Stand

Comments 4 comments

I was startled to find the pastor standing over me.

This “Pastor” was not like any pastor I have ever seen before.  Dressed all in black with a demonic look, more Satan-like, he was standing on my pew near where my head laid.  He was preaching about me and drawing the attention of the congregation sitting in the pews around me.  He was mocking me and humiliating me for stretching out in the pew and falling asleep during his sermon, so I became the sermon. And pointed out to all in the room I was even using Bibles as a pillow.

 

It was about 2 a.m. and after not being able to fall asleep in my office chair, I wandered down the hallway to the sanctuary and in the dark, I picked a pew a few rows from the front and laid down.  Better, I thought, though nothing like my bed, at least I could stretch out. Without a pillow, I reached out and grabbed a couple of books, hymnals or Bibles, not sure, and put them under my head.

This is kind of creepy, I thought.  I am trying to sleep in the same place where I got married and baptized; a place where I have attended the funerals of my friends, and Donny’s funeral.

Exhausted though, I drifted off to sleep

Maybe an hour later I was awoken In the middle of my dream with the demonic, Satan-like pastor. I checked the books beneath my head to see if they were Bibles. Finding only hymnals, I felt some relief.

For the first time since before the pandemic, my church held its annual yard sale.   I have written about it before.  It is quite a large, work-intensive event and typically it requires a few of us to work all night long in preparation. On this early pre-sale morning, however, we were fairly organized and it allowed me the opportunity to try to grab a little rest.

Not sure the church pew idea was my best choice though.

 

On June 16 I got a nice early Father’s Day gift.  Hayley was asked to be the keynote speaker at the Broad Run High School Graduation.  And it was broadcast online so Kim and I could watch it from our living room.  That was probably a good thing too because I didn’t even make it through the introduction by the Principal before the tears started rolling down my face.   Hayley did an awesome job, of course using the example of her “She-roe,” Ruth Bader Ginsburg to base her message.

Life Lessons (abridged version):

  1. Empower yourself, be independent.
  2. Find a true life partner, one that loves you unconditionally.
  3. Learn to welcome debate and difference. There is nothing wrong with having difficult conversations.
  4. We should all do our part to positively change the world. Work to repair the world.

It was awesome, she did a great job, and I was very proud, but little more dehydrated by the end.

Father’s Day weekend I was home alone again.    Kim had to go up to see her mom and I had work to do here. Though we find ourselves needing to do this a lot, I don’t think you ever really get used to it.  And I will admit I was a little depressed.  I listened to Bill Ortt’s 5:00 sermon on Saturday afternoon.  Then I listened to it again.  Then I listened again.

Interestingly his message contained elements similar to Hayley’s:

“What can I do” (to make the world better).

“We do have a stewardship responsibility for the way we communicate with one another.”

“Let each of you speak the truth with your neighbor, for we are members of one another”

 

Wise messages from some wise folks.  I hope I can live up.

 

On Father’s Day of course I heard from all the kids, but it was hearing my dad wish me a “happy father’s day” on my mother’s cell phone that was the highlight of my day.  I didn’t think I was going to be able to work out talking to him but it was a nice surprise and he did pretty good.

As I mentioned at the beginning, this past weekend was my church’s yard sale which was a lot of work but a lot of fun too with some awesome people.

And today is my birthday.

I just listened to the voice mail from Kim’s 97-year-old Aunt Laferne.  Every year she calls to sing “Happy Birthday” to you.  We don’t answer on purpose because we want to save it.

And like Father’s Day, I got to talk to my dad on my mom’s cell phone again and he wished me a “Happy Birthday” and he talked about having too many boats.  I told him you can never have too many boats.

 

Tomorrow we will celebrate Cameron’s birthday, on Wednesday Kim’s birthday, on Thursday we will remember the anniversary of my brother Carl going Home, and on Friday celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary.

A busy time.

 

Sorry for rambling a bit.

But I suppose there are some morals in the story.

Like, find a true life partner, one that loves you unconditionally.  I will celebrate that later in the week.

Welcome debate and difference but we do have a stewardship responsibility for the way we communicate with each other.

We should all do what we can to make the world better.

Never fall asleep in church.

And finally, you can never have too many boats.

 

Postscript:

The birthday crown I am wearing in the photo above was made for me by Miss Laurie, co-teacher of my BFF’s, aka the “Dreamers.”

I haven’t had a chance to read my FB but will later, thanks for the birthday wishes.

I woke up this morning with the song “In Christ Alone” in my head. The version that Alison Krauss sings with the Getty’s.  I think if ever I would imagine an angel singing it would have the voice of Alison Krauss. She sings the first verse in this version.

“Till He returns, or calls me home,

Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand”

Dreamers

Dreamers

Comments 0 Comment

You are a great champion.

When you ran the ground shook, the sky opened and mere mortals parted.

Parted the way to victory, where you’ll meet me in the winner circle,

where I’ll put a blanket of flowers on your back.

(From the movie “Dreamer”)

 

It’s Memorial Day weekend, nearly the end of May and I haven’t written in a month.  May is typically a month when I can’t shut up.  But not so much this May.

Since I am a fan of horse racing, May and the months leading up to May are always exciting as the horses compete to ultimately run in the Kentucky Derby.

I usually think about Sid (Sir Sidney) this time of year. I checked up on him in mid-April and got the following response:

Hey there!! He’s doing amazing! I sure love that rotten boy. I injured my knee so while I recovered I sent him off to a trainer to get a tune up so he wouldn’t get that whole time off. He’s been absolutely wonderful and now my knee is better, I’ll be picking him up in a few days! Here’s a few pics. He’s definitely a drama queen, has the biggest ‘tude, and gets offended by everything, but I adore him. I think he knows he’s better than everyone else because of his track earnings…. Can you blame him?? 

Hope you are doing well, Jonas sends his love,

Marilyne 

 

Marilyne has renamed Sid, Jonas, she is a big fan of the Jonas Brothers.  But I won’t hold that against her, she is taking good care of him.  To me, however, he will always be Sir Sidney.

Another great champion in my winner’s circle.

And also this time of the year I am always a sucker for sentimental uplifting horse racing movies.

Like Secretariat.

And Seabiscuit.

But this season I discovered one that slipped by me all the way back in 2005.

Dreamer.

 

Mariah’s Storm was born in April of 1991 in Lexington Kentucky. In 1993 Mariah’s Storm was working to qualify in that year’s Breeder’s Cup races when she fractured her front left cannon bone in the Alcibiades Stakes at Keeneland Race Course.

Normally that injury would have ended a horse’s racing career or maybe worse.

In 1994 after her injury was healed and fully recovered and Mariah’s Storm went on to win the Arlington Oaks and in 1995 the Arlington Matron Stakes.

At the age of four years old in September of 1995, she did the impossible by winning the Turfway Breeders’ Cup Stakes defeating Serena’s Song, a future Hall of Fame filly. She made it to the Breeder’s Cup that year running in the Breeder’s Cup Distaff, and though she didn’t finish well, she finished.

Another great champion and a great story.

Good enough to make another great sentimental uplifting horse racing movie.

The movie Dreamer was based on the story of Mariah’s Storm and her recovery and return to run on Breeder’s Cup Day.  However, in the movie, Soñador, which means Dreamer, would recover and go on to win the Breeder’s Cup Classic at odds of 80 to 1 against the best of the best, with an overweight jockey who had only raced three times, and in a race that a filly had never won up to that time in the real world.

Give me a break.

Hand me a tissue.

 

In 2008, in the real world, a filly named Zenyatta would make history by reliving the movie race of Soñador and coming from last to first down the stretch to win the 2008 Breeder’s Cup Classic.

Goosebumps.

 

This Kentucky Derby Day,  like last year, I spent with my dad, or at least part of it.  And this year just like in the movie Dreamer, just like Soñador, the Derby had an 80 to 1 winner in Rich Strike who also came from way off the pace to make that big stretch run and become the unlikely winner of the Kentucky Derby.

 

Another great story.

More goosebumps.

 

And then finally on this last week of May when I have two and three-year-old horses on my mind, it was another group of two and three-year-olds that caused me a little winkage.

Another great group of champions

My new best friends.

I have learned in the last few months that best friends don’t have to be contemporaries.

They can be wee little.

 

And they can be shy and they can be quiet some days.

And they can be loud and outgoing other days.

And that’s all good.

Because they are always precious.

And they are learning to be champions.

 

And in the case of these little champions, I pray that they will meet God in the winner’s circle and He will put a great blanket of blessings on their back.

I hope they dream big.

As they deserve.

I am thankful for my new best friends, an unexpected blessing for me.

And I will see you in September.

 

Hand me the tissues again.

 

Postscript:

My dad worked at the Wolf Hill School in Oceanport, New Jersey for 25 years.  He retired at the age of 62, he is now 93.  He still gets cards and photos and messages on social media from kids who went through Kindergarten to fourth or fifth grade while he was there.  Those “kids” now have kids of their own and maybe even grandchildren.

I guess I got a chance to experience a little of what my dad was blessed with for so many years.

The photo above is courtesy of Kids Under Construction Preschool at the Sterling United Methodist Church.

 

My dad and I celebrating this year’s Derby Day
Marilyne and Sid
Sir Sidney (aka Jonas)
The “Davids” and the “Goliaths”

The “Davids” and the “Goliaths”

Comments 6 comments

I was told a story recently.

One about a great person in the world of sports.

A tale of a player whose only concern was for his team.

A story of selflessness, and looking shame right in the eye…

All for the sake of his teammates and his coach.

 

What is it that makes one a great athlete?

What is it that makes a great leader?

Is it winning?

I do not think so.

Is it hitting that grand slam home run?

Nope.

Or throwing that Hail Mary pass to win the game with no time left on the clock?

Not on your life.

Or making The Greatest Header Goal Ever Scored in Soccer to take the lead while your parents were at the snack bar?

Well, maybe…

but back to the story:

 

It wasn’t just any game.

It wasn’t the playoffs.

It wasn’t the championship series.

It wasn’t like the World Cup.

No, it wasn’t like any game.

Because it was this game.

And to this player, this game was just as important as any game.

 

The proud parents were on the sidelines in their spot near third base cheering on their player and his team.

Their son stood at second base alertly waiting for play that might come his way at a moment’s notice.

The opposing team was one of the best.

They were like “Goliaths” in this particular league of Tee Ball.

And their team?

Well, they were like “Davids.”

The odds were against them even on a good day, but on this day three players were absent and they were playing with only eight on the field.

Every man counted.

And the second baseman knew that.

 

When the inning was over, the players began leaving the field for the dugout.  Watching her son, mom said to dad:

“I think he peed his pants.”

“No, no it’s got to be water,” said dad.

“I don’t think so, it wasn’t there before” replied mom.

 

Once the team was back in the dugout, intuitively as you would expect a mom to do, she went over to see if everything was alright with her player.

“Hey buddy, is everything okay?

“Yup,” he said, sitting on the bench as he waited his turn to bat.

“Is there anything the matter?”

“Nope,” replied her player.

“Okay,” said mom, “good job out there.”

 

Not satisfied but without wanting to call attention to her son, Mom returned to her place near third base.

 

Soon it was time for the second baseman to step into the batter’s box.

There he stood, bat in hand, and in his stance like a 3 foot 10 inch Babe Ruth.

Heck, he might as well have been pointing to the left-field fence with his bat.

Standing proudly, in front of all the spectators, the opposing team, his coach and his teammates, and his parents, he was cool and remained focused.

He got a hit.

But it was now obvious as he ran the bases, he had peed his pants.

Eventually, he scored.

 

When the inning was over the players and the second baseman returned to the field.

The third-base coach asked him “Hey buddy, did you like spill water on yourself or something?”

“No,” replied the player “I went to the bathroom.”

The coach inquired some more “what happened did you have an accident, do you want me to throw some dirt on it to kind of hide it?”

“No, I had to go and I didn’t want to leave the field so I just went,” he said calmly.

The coach turned to the young boy’s parents and said “oh my goodness I LOVE this kid!”

 

Now back in the dugout, some of the younger kids noticed it and began asking the second basement “Oh my, did you pee your pants?”

The more experienced player replied without hesitation “yeah, I had to go, but it was in the middle of the inning, and I didn’t want to let you guys down by leaving the field, so I just peed my pants.”

The coach was proud of his young player wanting to tell his other players “yeah, that’s right, the next time you have to go to the bathroom just do what that guy does!”

The story of the second baseman who peed his pants rather than leave the field and let his teammates down quickly spread through the team’s other parents.

The other dads were very impressed.

His dad was proud.

And his mom was too.

 

Professional athletes pee themselves on the field all the time.

They get paid millions of dollars to perform at a certain level and sometimes they can’t let bodily functions get in the way.

But what about when you’re not playing for millions of dollars?

What if you are not getting paid to perform at all?

What if you are just six years old?

And the most important thing to you at the moment is your team, and your younger players, those that are five maybe.

And not letting them down.

Putting the welfare of your teammates over your own personal embarrassment and potential future humiliation at school maybe or maybe the next game.

I don’t know whether that makes a great athlete.

Nor do I know whether that makes a great leader.

But it sounds to me like it might be the beginnings of the making of a good person.

And a local legend maybe.

Someone to be looked up to.

Even when you are six.

 

Postscript:

In October of 2001, Kim and I were in Virginia Beach on Columbus Day weekend.  Donny’s travel soccer team was playing in a tournament.

At one point in the game, Kim and I decided to go to the refreshment stand.

And that’s when it happened.

The Greatest Header Goal Ever Scored in Soccer.

And we missed watching Donny make it.

Because we were at the snack bar.

 

As far as the Tee Ball game, unlike the story in the Bible, the “David” team did not prevail.

The “Goliath” team won.

The score was 23 to 10 and as a result, the game was called early because of the number of runs made.  Something called The Mercy Rule.

But winning didn’t matter anyhow.

Because there are more important things than winning.

Even when you are six.

 

Because He Lives

Because He Lives

Comments 1 comment

Almost twenty years ago now, Donny’s accident occurred on Friday, July 19, 2002.  His funeral was Tuesday, July 23. Tired from grief and everything else unimaginable that week, we needed to “get out of Dodge.”   So we gathered up some kids and some close friends for support and headed out to my parent’s house on the Eastern Shore in Woolford, Maryland.

My dad was crabbing at the time so he still had his crab boat which made for the perfect diversion spending some time on the water, fishing, and crabbing.

Outside of our world, the rest of the country was watching the events unfold in Somerset County, Pennsylvania where on July 24 eighteen coal miners were trapped in the Quecreek Mine. Somerset County was where Kim’s family resided so that crisis hit close to home as well and captured our concerns too.

Woolford is a small town about halfway between Cambridge and Taylor’s Island.  There is not much to the town but a small post office attached to the Woolford Store.  The Woolford Store had everything you needed for fishing, crabbing, and back then, hunting. You could also pick up your beer and groceries or have a seat at one of the few tables in front of the deli/grill and have breakfast or lunch. Camo was common or whatever you liked to fish in and pick-up trucks lined the road out in front.

Just a little ways further up Taylor’s Island Road was a small United Methodist Church named Milton United Methodist Church.

The Milton United Methodist church in Woolford at the time was part of the four church “Church Creek Charge.” The Church Creek Charge consisted of the Whitehaven UMC in Church Creek, Milton in Woolford, Madison UMC in Madison, and the Taylor’s Island United Methodist Church on Taylor’s Island.  The Pastor at the time was Reverend Bob Kirkley.  Kirkley was a preacher’s son who himself spent many years preaching in Baltimore and in St. Mary’s county on the Western Shore. Like my dad, he was born in 1929, so he could have easily been retired.  But instead, every Sunday morning Reverend Kirkley would start his preaching at 8:45 a.m. at the Whitehaven UMC in Church Creek, and once finished he would beat feet down the road to Milton at 9:45 a.m. then Madison at 10:45 a.m. finishing up the morning at Taylor’s Island UMC.

On that particular late July, Sunday, Kim and I felt like we needed to be in church and we convinced my parents to attend with us.  We sat down in one of the pews of the small very traditional-looking aging church sanctuary.  As strangers in church that morning, once we were acknowledged my dad very uncharacteristically stood up and introduced us and explained the circumstances with Donny.

Though I don’t remember what the sermon was about that Sunday, I do remember Kim and me thinking that it was speaking directly to us on that day.

At the end of the service, everyone stood and sang “God Bless America.”

Later that morning we went over to the Volunteer Fire Department in Secretary, Maryland for buckwheat pancakes and caught some TV replays of the miners in Pennsylvania being brought to the surface one at a time in their rescue capsule.

Answered prayers for those families.

 

Once we returned to Herndon Kim emailed Reverend Kirkley and explained that my parents really needed a church family and could he visit with them and try to get them to start going to church.

He did, and it worked, and eventually, my parents became active members of the Milton United Methodist Church.

The aging church building benefited from some of my dad’s carpentry skills and in addition, he would build a new church sign out front and a special Christmas tree-shaped stand for the poinsettias at Christmas in the sanctuary.

 

As my dad’s health began to fail and walking became more difficult, they eventually had to stop attending services.

Kim and I would attend from time to time while visiting.

 

Eventually, Reverend Kirkley’s health failed too and he had to retire, and just this past February, he passed away.

And the once four charge “Church Creek Charge” over time became a three church charge with the closing of the Taylor’s Island church.

Now with a new pastor, Pastor Ben, who is actually a police officer on the western shore when he is not preaching on the weekends, the same traditions of the small-town congregation continue.

 

Yesterday Kim and I returned with my mom for Easter services at Milton.  She hadn’t been to church in a while and they were happy to see her.

Most of the faces of the small congregation were familiar.

The sign on the wall said “last week’s attendance 31.”

With Easter, however, this Sunday’s attendance swelled to 46.

The stand my dad built for the Christmas poinsettias was still present in the corner now decorated with American flags.

And since the lady who used to play the piano moved away, the hymns are sung accompanied by recorded music and vocals.  We sang “He Lives” along with Alan Jackson and “Because He Lives” with Bill Gaither.

And just like it was twenty years ago, “God Bless America” still ends every service.  No accompaniment was needed for that one.

 

After church, we visited with my dad and tried to remember Easters of the past when the big deal was packing the family in the Corvair and driving all the way to Middletown to have dinner at McDonald’s.

Now with our visit over, Kim and I got back in the truck to head home.

But not before a quick stop at the McDonald’s in Cambridge to keep the tradition going.

 

It was a nice Easter.

“Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth a living just because He lives”

(From “Because He Lives” by Bill Gaither)

 

Postscript

The photo above was taken at the time the new sign that my dad built was installed at the church.

 

Pastor Ben leading the service
The poinsettia tree, now adorned with American flags
The sign my dad built, as it looked on Easter 2022
The Strongest Kid in Oceanport

The Strongest Kid in Oceanport

Comments 2 comments

“When are we going to go upstairs and eat?”

“Carl, we don’t go upstairs to eat, we eat here.”

“We always go upstairs and eat.”

“No, we don’t Carl, we don’t have an upstairs, we always eat here on the porch.”

“Yes, we do!  We eat upstairs!”

“Alright, alright.”

 

 

This past January I was going through a cabinet in my home “office” that was full of my old notebooks and journals, and I began to leaf through them.  I am not particularly organized so it’s not always clear if the entries are chronological or not, but in one notebook that contained most of my 2016 first-year Musings notes, I found a page dated April 29.  I am going to assume, therefore, that this was April 29, 2016. Here is a somewhat edited version of that day’s notes:

Yesterday my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. His primary care had suspected he might have the disease and he sent him to a specialist in Salisbury who confirmed the diagnosis.  He was ordered to be put on medication to start treatment.

Since I have had a couple of weeks to process the possibility of this diagnosis, to some degree I am glad that it has been confirmed and possibly the medication will help him.  He has endured changes that have noticeably impacted his activities of daily living and maybe some of those changes can be relieved.

Last week he had my mother ask me over the phone if I wanted his bicycle.  He was told by the doctor he could no longer ride his bicycle. 

I thought that was sad and told him to keep it out there for me to ride when I visited. 

It must be really hard.

I don’t know much about Parkinson’s Disease at this point, but I suppose I will begin to learn. 

I guess only time will tell.

In the meantime, I will learn as my dad goes through this, at least as much as I can.

 

And so began the learning experience.  The journey of watching the life of a once-proud, confident, independent, talented, competent, most of the time charming, and all the time stubborn individual, whose life had impacted so many, begin to implode.

A guy who was known for his physical abilities, his sense of balance, his strength, and his accuracy.  He could cross a log over a stream with ease, he could lean comfortably over the edge of the roof of a building while pulling a roll of tar paper up on the end of a rope; he could climb a rope using only his arm strength, he could drive a 10-penny nail with one swoop of a hammer and cut through a branch with one chop.

“One Chop Mo” they called him in Boy Scouts.

He could ski, ice skate, windsurf, climb a ladder, carry a backpack over miles of the Appalachian Trail, drive a firetruck, fight a fire, and even deliver a baby.

He could build a house, build a fine piece of furniture, build a First Aid building, and build a community-free library.

And he could ride his bicycle.

But not anymore.

 

 

The conversation illustrated above became more common as his disease progressed. But it wasn’t always like that and before reaching the point of incoherent sentences or confusion, as much as I could, I asked questions and wrote things down.

Though some of those conversations reached long into the night and were sometimes blurred and marred by Manhattans and red wine, not to mention the progression of his Parkinson’s, I tried to do the best I could to document his comments.  The Manhattan’s were always good grease for the wheel on his end, but on my end red wine didn’t always allow me to capture those memories as well as I would have liked.

But we had fun.

 

My dad talked a lot about “going home” as his mind began to change.

He always wanted to “go home.”

“Home” to him, in his later Parkinson’s years, was in Oceanport, N.J.

Though he lived in Woolford, on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, and hadn’t lived in Oceanport in thirty years, in his memory, he lived back in the town he was raised in and where he raised his family.

His life was going full circle.

And in his defense, in the house that he built in Oceanport; he did go upstairs to eat.  The kitchen was on the middle floor, or more exactly the third level of the four-level split he built.  If he was in the basement where his workshop lived, or in the “rec” room where his bar was located, he went up the stairs to reach the kitchen and eat.

So in his previous house, the “home” he remembered best as being his home, he went upstairs to eat.

Except for the few years as a child when he lived in the Scandinavian neighborhood of Brooklyn’s Bay Ridge section, my father was born and raised in Oceanport.

My grandfather moved the family to Brooklyn in the 1930s to find work and for three years, my dad lived and attended New York’s public school system in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grades.

It’s been a while since we have had the ability to have those conversations when I could learn more about his life.  But interestingly, this past Monday, on his birthday, out of the blue, he shared another story I had not heard before.  You have to understand this was a big deal because most of his speech now is unintelligible.  On Monday, while we celebrated his birthday in the facility where he now lives, he shared the story of another birthday party he had in Brooklyn in 1939 when he turned ten years old.  He said he had just started to play guitar and they played “kissing games.”  He also mentioned that baseball was big back then.

I don’t know where all this came from but I got pretty excited and of course, took notes on my phone.

I have never heard him say anything about playing the guitar, but I definitely believe he played “kissing games.”  I did try to push him a little with some follow-up questions about the Brooklyn Dodgers but at that point, it was over.  The clarity had ceased.

I think he had a great birthday and for me it was awesome.

 

On April 29th in 2016 I wrote:

“I don’t know much about Parkinson’s Disease at this point, but I suppose I will begin to learn. 

I guess only time will tell.

In the meantime, I will learn as my dad goes through this, at least as much as I can.”

 

It’s now April of 2022.

I am still learning.

Though I probably still don’t know as much about Parkinson’s in the clinical sense as I should,  I do know how it has affected my dad and impacted my mother.

 

My dad once told me “At one time I was the strongest kid in Oceanport.”

I believe he probably was.

That strength is gone now.

And the sense of balance he was once so proud of, gone too.

It’s hard to believe it has only been six years that we have been on this journey.

Yet he still has those days when he amazes me.

So I guess I will keep on learning.

As long as he keeps sharing.

 

Postscript:

I shared his birthday photo on social media and he got many responses and comments.  I read as many of those comments as I could to him while I was with him on Monday and will follow up with the rest the next time I see him.  Thanks to all for helping to make his birthday special.

My dad enjoying his birthday ice cream cone. He hadn’t had an ice cream cone in about 10 months.
Society’s Child 2022

Society’s Child 2022

Comments 6 comments

Since last Friday was April 1st, it was time to switch the Guitar calendar on my office wall to May.  We always keep the Guitar calendar a month ahead and refer to a more traditional calendar hanging next to the Guitar calendar for those dates in the current month.

I took one more look at the April birthday list before inserting the pushpin into the corkboard and officially switching it over to May.

April 7th, I noted, Janice Ian’s birthday.

That brought to mind the only Janice Ian song I could think of Society’s Child.

Unless you are my age or older you may not be familiar with Janice Ian.

A Jersey girl though not typically associated with the music we now identify as the Jersey sounds made famous by Bruce Springsteen and Little Steven, she was born in Farmingdale, not far from where I grew up, and went to high school in East Orange.

Janice Ian wrote the song Society’s Child (Baby I’ve been Thinking) when she was thirteen.  The song was about an interracial relationship between a young white girl and a young black boy, and the negative treatment she received from her mom, other students, and teachers.

Her “Society.”

By the end of the song, she says, “I don’t want to see you anymore” and gives in to the pressure.

But not before saying the line “When we’re older, things may change. But for now, this is the way they must remain.”

 

 

I heard a great sermon last Sunday.

One I needed to hear I think in my continued funk.

One that helped to put some of my concerns in perspective.

It was in fact, about perspective.

 

“How critically important it is for me to have to stop in these times when you seem to be being bowled over by shock, anxiety, trauma, and the need to find just a moment to breathe in, take a breath of the Grace of God; to just find some sustenance.  And it may not change what’s going on but it will give you strength.  And God intends us to know something of that peace in the midst of chaos…

The kind of peace that comes to us in the midst of crisis, tumult, and pain…it is strength to know the presence of God, and it’s wisdom,” said the preacher.

 

Unless you live under a rock, you know we have all these things in our world, and some folks may even be experiencing crisis and pain in their personal lives.

 

But what about in those quieter times?

Those times when we may not be experiencing crisis (but everything is a crisis right?), just the normal stresses of work, family, finances, and life in general.

 

A couple of thousand years ago near or maybe even on this day, Jesus stopped on his way to Jerusalem to hang out with some friends and enjoy some quiet time before what he knew was the inevitable.

You may be familiar with the story of Martha and Mary.

Martha runs around stressed and anxious as she prepares the meal in the kitchen while her sister Mary just chills at the feet of Jesus.

She even asks Jesus to tell Mary to help her.

But Jesus tells her “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed…Mary has chosen what is better…

Mary understands the peace of God while Martha creates a crisis.

I am too often guilty of having the Martha thing going on I am afraid, and might be better served to take a seat.

 

According to what I have read, Atlantic Records recorded Society’s Child (Baby I’ve Been Thinking) but then refused to release it and when it finally was released on a different label many radio stations wouldn’t play it.

This was 1966 and 1967.

The world was different then.

Right?

And “When we’re older, things may change.”

Right?

I think so.

In 1966 and 1967 I was ten and eleven years old.

And through my eyes much has changed in the last fifty-five years.

I have changed.

People I know and love have changed

Our country has changed.

 

But nevertheless, if you look and live like me, and believe what I believe, society would have me labeled as a racist, a capitalist, a homophobe, and whatever else.

Yup, that’s me, Society’s Child of the 2020’s I guess.

And I will admit, I take some offense to that.

 

I watched video of former President Obama’s return to the White House this week.  It reminded me that it really wasn’t that long ago that we weren’t so racist in this country and that we had come a long way since 1966.

But now that has all changed again.

 

It is sad that we can’t put our world in a more realistic perspective, can’t recognize the change that has occurred in humanity, and in the hearts of individuals.  It just may help progress to continue.

I am older now, and I have seen that things do change, things have not remained that way in all circumstances. And I also recognize more change is necessary.

Yet, some want to create a crisis.

And some understand the peace of God.

Choosing what is better.

Sitting at the feet of Jesus.

But that is just my perspective.

 

Postscript:

The photo above was taken last week on my most recent visit to see my Pops.  Janice Ian isn’t the only famous person to have a birthday in April because Monday April 11 is my dad’s birthday.  He will be 93 years old.  So just in case I don’t get around to paying him some attention in words I will acknowledge him here.