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I’ll Have a Zoom Christmas, Without You

I’ll Have a Zoom Christmas, Without You

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The 2020 Christmas Letter

 

Have yourself a merry Covid Christmas
May your masks be bright…
From now on your smiles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry Covid Christmas

Begin the Yuletide fray
Because now on your family will be miles away

 Just last year in our olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who were dear to us
Gather near to us no more

Come next year we all will be together
If the States allow
Hang my Christmas card it’s all I’ve got for now
So have yourself a merry Covid Christmas

How?

 

How?

You may be asking yourself that same question.

I actually considered skipping this letter again this year.

I had already written so much about this year in the life of my family I thought how much more sad news can you folks take?

How do you be “merry” in 2020?

 

I tried some of the usual things to generate “merry.”

I went out and bought a new Christmas tree.

“And don’t be cheap” was my only instruction.

So I got one with lights already on it and a remote control!

And though it wasn’t cheap, I did get a discount because it was the floor model.

Then I got a “smart plug” and now all I need to do to turn the Christmas tree lights on is say,

“Alexa…turn on the Christmas Tree.”

 

But none of that seemed to do it.

 

So then I thought I would go back and read the last fifteen years’ worth of Christmas letters including the 2018 non letter year blog post, hoping to find some inspiration and “merry” in those.  But I came away from that even more depressed and convinced that every year was a struggle with the hope that the New Year would bring something different, only to repeat the cycle the next year.

 

Then I listened a second time to an online Sermon from the first Sunday in Advent and that was a little more promising so I decided to “Google” Advent to learn more and I found this from a Western Kentucky University website:

While it is difficult to keep in mind in the midst of holiday celebrations, shopping, lights and decorations, and joyful carols, Advent is intended to be a season of fasting, much like Lent, and there are a variety of ways that this time of mourning works itself out in the season. Reflection on the violence and evil in the world causes us to cry out to God to make things right—to put death’s dark shadows to flight. Our exile in the present makes us look forward to our future Exodus. And our own sinfulness and need for grace lead us to pray for the Holy Spirit to renew his work in conforming us into the image of Christ.

Hmmm, I thought…

“Violence and evil?”

“Death’s dark shadow?”

“Our exile in the present?”

That was just what I didn’t need to be reminded of and certainly didn’t evoke any “merry.”

 

So I thought about music.  Music always makes me feel better. So I put on my Lowen and Navarro Christmas CD. That was good.  But then I found my favorite Christmas album of all time, That Christmas Feeling by Glen Campbell released in 1968.  My dad had this album when I was a kid.

Now I was getting warm.

 

Even though the Supreme Court ruled against prayer in public schools in 1962, when I was in “grammar school” growing up in New Jersey we were still allowed to perform a Christmas pageant each year acting out the story from the Bible of the birth of Jesus.  The pageant was narrated by two readers, typically a boy and girl.

In 1969 when I was in the eighth grade I stepped out of my comfort zone and volunteered to be one of the narrators.  To my disappointment however another guy had already asked to be the narrator.

My “shop” teacher was one of the teachers in charge of the pageant and he was my favorite teacher.   After some consideration it was decided that the contrast in our voices (mine was much lower) would work and so I was able to be one of the narrators and read the story of the birth of Jesus.  The story from Luke Chapter 2:

“And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.”

And, in true “Life in the Wobbly Cart” fashion, I caught a bad cold that week and so the narration included me coughing and sniffing into the microphone as I read my part. It wasn’t pretty.

“And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.”

And even now as sit on my couch writing, I look out my window to see my second Christmas tree, the one I set up outside on my deck in another attempt to find “merry,” bent and broken, the star hanging limply upside down, most of the lights not working but there is one random bulb flickering incessantly; damaged from being blown over by the wind.  Another reminder of just how “normal” my life still is.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.

But then it occurred to me.

In this year of everyone’s world being turned upside down due to a virus; a year that started off with the loss of our pastor, Steve; a year that I lost my old friend Frank to the virus; a year when my brother Carl lost his battle with cancer and we lost Kim’s dad; heck we even lost our cat… I was still looking for “merry.”

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

When all along, maybe I should have been looking for “Mary.”

“So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.”

And…Jesus.

 

“Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

 

And in recognizing a brighter meaning of Advent, one of expectation and what was and is to come, maybe I had found my “merry.”

I hope you do too.

 

Kim and I hope you and your families have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

 

Kim and Curt

 

Postscript:

Our prayers go out to all those who continue to struggle in health or well-being due to Covid 19, as well as those battling other conditions; and also to those of you, who like us, lost family members and friends.

Kim and I would like to thank everyone for all the thoughts and prayers, and cards, and the general thoughtfulness provided to us and both our families this year.

Finally, from that Lowen and Navarro CD and the Meaning of Christmas:

So open your heart and let us give cheer, and try to remember the meaning of Christmas each day of the year.

PPS:

On December 9 after finishing and publishing this year’s letter I learned of the loss of another old friend, Joe Centanni, resulting from complications of the virus.  I have many happy memories of good times with a guy who, like my brother, would have given you the proverbial shirt.  Our prayers go out to Linda and the kids and the rest of the family.

The Christmas Letter 2019

The Christmas Letter 2019

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Christmas 2019

It’s August 3 and I am at an auction with my father in law in New Centreville, PA.  I drop my father in law off to register then I go park my truck.  Now my turn to register, I am trying to explain to the guy behind the table who I am and my relationship to my father in law when the guy says, “yeah I know who you are.  We didn’t get a Christmas card and letter this year, we usually get a card and letter!”

The next month, on September 14 we went to Kim’s 40th high school reunion and had a great time. But again, we had multiple people asking why no Christmas card and letter last Christmas?

The next morning after the reunion I attended the Geiger Church of the Brethren, but on this day, I was haunted by the ghosts of Christmas letters past. The sermon that morning included the story from Genesis of Jacob wrestling with God the night before he was to meet with his brother Esau and his family who he hadn’t seen in years. The last time they saw each other Jacob had tricked his father Isaac into blessing him instead of the oldest son Esau as should have been customary thus making Jacob lord of the family and all the other family members, servants to him. Now after all these years Jacob was anxious and even scared that Esau would do him and his family harm as a result. His concern was only bolstered by the fact that his servants who went out ahead to tell Esau that Jacob was coming, returned to say Esau was on his way to meet Jacob with 400 men.  Jacob thought it best to be overly generous with gifts. Surely that would make the best impression.

So, he sent his family and servants out ahead of him with the gifts of many goats, female camels with their young; ewes, and donkeys and cows. Then he spent the night tormented by his concerns of seeing the brother he hadn’t seen in a long time, having enough gifts, worrying about arguments or even worse. He wrestled with those concerns, and with God all night.  As daybreak came upon them, the wrestling ended, and Jacob asked God to bless him.

Sitting and listening in church that morning, still with visions of Christmas letters dancing in my head, I thought, wow, this story of Jacob and Esau seems to have many parallels with modern day Christmas rituals.

Because last Christmas, Kim and I wrestled with our own anxieties over the holiday.  Whether it was the grief that you don’t “get over” and never goes way, stress over normal things like finances maybe, or just being tired, or all of the above.  Christmas at our house last year, as I had told Hayley at the time, was “cancelled.”

In a Christmas time post on my website last December I had written this:

I had always put a lot of energy into our Christmases.

But for the first time in my life I didn’t have a Christmas tree.

And for the first time since Kim and I have been together, we didn’t send out a Christmas card

with a Christmas letter.

This year we just didn’t have the energy.

 

I guess like Jacob, we felt the pressure.  The need to buy too many gifts, the stresses of socializing in the face of grief and loss, the unpacking of just too many memories to put up on the shelves only to take them down again and pack them away for another year.  And I guess, like Jacob, we wrestled.

Unlike Jacob however, our conversation would have been more like this:

“Seriously Kim, how many milking camels do we really have to buy this year? Does Alexa really need another camel?  Haven’t we spent enough?  And do you know what it cost to ship a milking camel?”

And I can’t imagine my wife telling me, “Curt your brother Gary called to say he is coming to visit from California for Christmas.  And he is bringing 400 of his family and friends with him.”

Yup Jacob, I got you!

 

But that was last Christmas.

And on the way back home to Virginia from the Rockwood High School Class of 1979 40th reunion, Kim said,

“You know you are going to have to write a Christmas letter this year.”

 

So, with Alexa, Namaan, Christian, and Ethan coming up to Virginia for Christmas, the kids and grandkids would be together this year for the first time in two years. We started to get the old Christmas spirit back again.

Well sort of.

Since I had thrown out the last artificial tree we owned, the Sunday before Thanksgiving, realizing we would be away Thanksgiving weekend, the time we would normally put up our Christmas tree, we found an awesome deal on Facebook yard sale, drove right over and picked it up.

Now with our “new” used artificial Christmas tree in the back of the SUV, we headed out to have lunch in Leesburg with Savannah and Cameron celebrating Leon’s birthday with Leon’s family.  Hayley was there too with her new friend Malcolm who I had never met.  He seemed like a really nice guy and I liked him.

Then finally Kim and I went home and set up our “new” used artificial Christmas tree to get into the spirit of things. Kim put on some awful 70’s music while we went to work decorating the tree.  That triggered an exchange that went something like this:

“Me and you and a dog named Sue, traveling and living off the land,” I sang along with the song.

“It’s Boo!” Kim said.

“It’s what?” I asked puzzled.

“Boo, the dog’s name is Boo not Sue!” she corrected me.

“I thought it was Sue,” I grumbled feeling a little silly.  Ah it’s a stupid song anyway, I thought.

By the end of the evening, the “new” used artificial Christmas tree looked great, and we had some fun.

Then, this past weekend I even put Christmas decorations up outside, something I used to do with Donny but hate to do now.  Though unlike the neighbors I put ours up in the backyard so we could see them and enjoy them.

Everything was falling into place.

Everything, except for one thing, Kim’s words,

“You know you are going to have to write a Christmas letter this year.”

Yeah, I suppose so.

 

Post-Script

It has been a year for us that has been different than most.

Kim and I spent less time together this past year than we ever have.  That wasn’t good.

But on the plus side we spent a lot more time with our families than we had in a long while.

We had some answered prayers, and we still have some big ones out there we are waiting to get answered.

I was reminded while at work today that this is the season of miracles, that the birth of Jesus to a virgin shows that nothing is impossible with God.

 Nothing is impossible with God.

I am going to go into the New Year with that re-assurance that the rest of those prayers will get

answered too.

We can take a lot from the story of Jacob and Esau.

Because after all our wrestling, God did bless us too.

And like Jacob’s plea to his brother Esau,  “Please take my gift which has been brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me and because I have plenty,” we will find comfort in the joy of giving, the reminder that no matter how much time goes by and no matter the problems of the past, our love of family is unconditional.

And as Kim and I enjoy our three little guys this Christmas, I will be reminded that God has dealt graciously with us too.

I hope that you and your families have an awesome Christmas this year.  And if there is anything you might be wrestling with, I hope God is gracious and blesses you too.

And finally, I hope that none of us get any milking camels for Christmas!

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from all of those mentioned above including Donny too!

Kim and Curt

This was Christmas 2018