The Christmas Letter 2019
Christmas 2019
It’s August 3 and I am at an auction with my father in law in New Centreville, PA. I drop my father in law off to register then I go park my truck. Now my turn to register, I am trying to explain to the guy behind the table who I am and my relationship to my father in law when the guy says, “yeah I know who you are. We didn’t get a Christmas card and letter this year, we usually get a card and letter!”
The next month, on September 14 we went to Kim’s 40th high school reunion and had a great time. But again, we had multiple people asking why no Christmas card and letter last Christmas?
The next morning after the reunion I attended the Geiger Church of the Brethren, but on this day, I was haunted by the ghosts of Christmas letters past. The sermon that morning included the story from Genesis of Jacob wrestling with God the night before he was to meet with his brother Esau and his family who he hadn’t seen in years. The last time they saw each other Jacob had tricked his father Isaac into blessing him instead of the oldest son Esau as should have been customary thus making Jacob lord of the family and all the other family members, servants to him. Now after all these years Jacob was anxious and even scared that Esau would do him and his family harm as a result. His concern was only bolstered by the fact that his servants who went out ahead to tell Esau that Jacob was coming, returned to say Esau was on his way to meet Jacob with 400 men. Jacob thought it best to be overly generous with gifts. Surely that would make the best impression.
So, he sent his family and servants out ahead of him with the gifts of many goats, female camels with their young; ewes, and donkeys and cows. Then he spent the night tormented by his concerns of seeing the brother he hadn’t seen in a long time, having enough gifts, worrying about arguments or even worse. He wrestled with those concerns, and with God all night. As daybreak came upon them, the wrestling ended, and Jacob asked God to bless him.
Sitting and listening in church that morning, still with visions of Christmas letters dancing in my head, I thought, wow, this story of Jacob and Esau seems to have many parallels with modern day Christmas rituals.
Because last Christmas, Kim and I wrestled with our own anxieties over the holiday. Whether it was the grief that you don’t “get over” and never goes way, stress over normal things like finances maybe, or just being tired, or all of the above. Christmas at our house last year, as I had told Hayley at the time, was “cancelled.”
In a Christmas time post on my website last December I had written this:
I had always put a lot of energy into our Christmases.
But for the first time in my life I didn’t have a Christmas tree.
And for the first time since Kim and I have been together, we didn’t send out a Christmas card
with a Christmas letter.
This year we just didn’t have the energy.
I guess like Jacob, we felt the pressure. The need to buy too many gifts, the stresses of socializing in the face of grief and loss, the unpacking of just too many memories to put up on the shelves only to take them down again and pack them away for another year. And I guess, like Jacob, we wrestled.
Unlike Jacob however, our conversation would have been more like this:
“Seriously Kim, how many milking camels do we really have to buy this year? Does Alexa really need another camel? Haven’t we spent enough? And do you know what it cost to ship a milking camel?”
And I can’t imagine my wife telling me, “Curt your brother Gary called to say he is coming to visit from California for Christmas. And he is bringing 400 of his family and friends with him.”
Yup Jacob, I got you!
But that was last Christmas.
And on the way back home to Virginia from the Rockwood High School Class of 1979 40th reunion, Kim said,
“You know you are going to have to write a Christmas letter this year.”
So, with Alexa, Namaan, Christian, and Ethan coming up to Virginia for Christmas, the kids and grandkids would be together this year for the first time in two years. We started to get the old Christmas spirit back again.
Well sort of.
Since I had thrown out the last artificial tree we owned, the Sunday before Thanksgiving, realizing we would be away Thanksgiving weekend, the time we would normally put up our Christmas tree, we found an awesome deal on Facebook yard sale, drove right over and picked it up.
Now with our “new” used artificial Christmas tree in the back of the SUV, we headed out to have lunch in Leesburg with Savannah and Cameron celebrating Leon’s birthday with Leon’s family. Hayley was there too with her new friend Malcolm who I had never met. He seemed like a really nice guy and I liked him.
Then finally Kim and I went home and set up our “new” used artificial Christmas tree to get into the spirit of things. Kim put on some awful 70’s music while we went to work decorating the tree. That triggered an exchange that went something like this:
“Me and you and a dog named Sue, traveling and living off the land,” I sang along with the song.
“It’s Boo!” Kim said.
“It’s what?” I asked puzzled.
“Boo, the dog’s name is Boo not Sue!” she corrected me.
“I thought it was Sue,” I grumbled feeling a little silly. Ah it’s a stupid song anyway, I thought.
By the end of the evening, the “new” used artificial Christmas tree looked great, and we had some fun.
Then, this past weekend I even put Christmas decorations up outside, something I used to do with Donny but hate to do now. Though unlike the neighbors I put ours up in the backyard so we could see them and enjoy them.
Everything was falling into place.
Everything, except for one thing, Kim’s words,
“You know you are going to have to write a Christmas letter this year.”
Yeah, I suppose so.
Post-Script
It has been a year for us that has been different than most.
Kim and I spent less time together this past year than we ever have. That wasn’t good.
But on the plus side we spent a lot more time with our families than we had in a long while.
We had some answered prayers, and we still have some big ones out there we are waiting to get answered.
I was reminded while at work today that this is the season of miracles, that the birth of Jesus to a virgin shows that nothing is impossible with God.
Nothing is impossible with God.
I am going to go into the New Year with that re-assurance that the rest of those prayers will get
answered too.
We can take a lot from the story of Jacob and Esau.
Because after all our wrestling, God did bless us too.
And like Jacob’s plea to his brother Esau, “Please take my gift which has been brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me and because I have plenty,” we will find comfort in the joy of giving, the reminder that no matter how much time goes by and no matter the problems of the past, our love of family is unconditional.
And as Kim and I enjoy our three little guys this Christmas, I will be reminded that God has dealt graciously with us too.
I hope that you and your families have an awesome Christmas this year. And if there is anything you might be wrestling with, I hope God is gracious and blesses you too.
And finally, I hope that none of us get any milking camels for Christmas!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from all of those mentioned above including Donny too!
Kim and Curt
