I am currently sheltering in place.

I have never done that before. Or at least if I have, I have never called it that before. Sheltering in place is a frequently used term now but it is usually associated with something sinister. Thankfully I have never had to experience that and certainly feel for those who have.

But the radio stations are calling what I am doing this weekend sheltering in place. It makes it sound kind of scary and I feel like maybe I should be concerned.

Unlike the last time it snowed really bad in the DC area and I had to spend days in the house with my wife and kids without work to worry about….it was just called chillin’ then, having fun, relaxing in my place.

But now I am sheltering in place and now I look around the room and see my wife, my daughter, my grandson, and my cat….and I wonder what sinister deed should I be worried about?

Is Savannah going to make her hamburger and codfish casserole again for dinner tonight? That could certainly be scary…

And will the power go out causing us to lose the cable TV and the internet? That would be dastardly too!

And what is the cause of all this commotion?

This Prodigious snow storm they are calling Jonas!

pro·di·gious

1. remarkably or impressively great in extent, size, or degree.
Synonyms: enormous, huge, colossal, immense, vast, great, massive, gigantic, mammoth, tremendous, inordinate, monumental

Okay I am not ashamed to admit that I had to look that word up after the news guy on the radio used it to describe this storm. I have always been mindful of the fact that my vocabulary was not prodigious. And though I have tried to work on that, I have always been a little self-conscious about it; especially since I enjoy writing.

The radio announcements kept encouraging everyone to stock up on nonperishables in case the power went out; to get gas for our cars and generators; to get batteries for our flashlights; and to get cash in case the power goes out and the ATM’s don’t work.

And the people listened because the truth is there has been a prodigious reaction by everyone who lives around here to this prodigious storm and there is probably not a gallon of milk between here and Pittsburgh.

Well, at least most listened.

You see, all that was kind of a problem for me. A week from payday and my bank account was anything but prodigious. I had a prodigious amount of batteries but they were the little ones since my wife and I didn’t communicate well at Christmas and we both bought prodigious amounts of AA and AAA batteries. So I scoured the house for little flashlights… you know the kind they hand out at trade shows or make key chains out of.

And I didn’t have any nonperishables. I had plenty of food in the freezers….but those are perishable. I suppose I could barbeque as the thaw occurred but did I have enough propane? And I suppose if things got really bad around here we could eat the cat…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

food, yeah we could eat the cat food since that’s a nonperishable… but no I think I would be digging my way to a MacDonald’s in a warm State by that point…….

But then it occurred to me that maybe what’s really sinister about all this is this word prodigious……..maybe that’s what is really bothering me.

Maybe it isn’t just my vocabulary that is not prodigious, maybe that is not the only thing I have to be self-conscious about. Maybe there are other aspects of me that are not prodigious…my 401K…my master bathroom…my intelligence…my chest hair…

..so just leave me alone while I shelter in place.

Oh well, I guess we all can’t be prodigious in every way.  At least I have lots of batteries for the remote control.

You know I always thought it was really annoying when you could tell that someone just learned a new word because they insisted on using that new word prodigiously.

Man I hate that.