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Month: December 2024

Ghosts of Christmases Past 2

Ghosts of Christmases Past 2

“On Christmas Eve many years ago I laid quietly in my bed.  I did not rustle the sheets, I breathed slowly and silently.  I was listening for a sound I was afraid I would never hear: the sound of Santa’s sleigh bells.”  (from The Polar Express)

 

We moved into the split-level house my dad built in late 1960 from the bungalow next door.

My brother Gary was born in May 1961, ending my nearly five-year reign as the youngest child and immediately thrusting me into the abyss of middle-child status. Not that I was bitter; who wanted all that attention anyway?

My sister Patty had her own room. Carl and I shared a bedroom that my dad designed for all three boys once Gary graduated from the crib in my parent’s bedroom. My bed was on the end, Carl in the middle, and Gary would be in the first bed.

Since my parents were the “early adopters” so to speak of having children amongst their friends, Christmas Eves at our house always included our extended family of my parent’s adult friends, mostly firemen and their wives,  since they had to be home to prepare Christmas for us.

And then came the hour on Christmas Eve when we were all three ushered up to bed, while the adults continued the festivities below.  Once in bed we busted out the Dan Electro transistor radios and followed Santa’s travels on WMCA or WABC radio out of New York City.

Sleep didn’t come easy but eventually, it would.  In the morning whoever woke up first would wake up the others and we would all huddle at the top of the steps because we couldn’t go down the stairs until my mother and father got up.

One of us got picked to sneak down the stairs and do some scouting to see if Santa had really come.  That changed as we all got older, depending on “your persuasion on the Big Man,” and was typically the younger believer, which like I said earlier and in case you forgot, was me for nearly five years.

We had a similar routine every year, captured in photos first by black and whites, then eventually in color, some of which I have already shared. My dad also had one of those early 60s eight mm movie cameras with the infamous light bar with the four flood lights.  We opened gifts in an organized way making sure we each saw what the other one got.

Then my father would leave to join the other Oceanport Hook and Ladder firemen who every year would purchase gifts for all the kids in town under a certain age and with a Santa Claus on the back of the fire truck, would go street by street, house by house, delivering gifts to the kids they had on their list.

This was a tradition that went way back with the fire company in Oceanport and even my dad would tell stories of waiting for the fire truck when he was a kid in the 1930s when he would leap the hedge to get to greet the firemen and Santa.

While my dad was gone, we also would wait for the fire truck to come to our house, then revisit our gifts until my dad got home, which wasn’t always as predictable as you might think since there was always a little bit of Christmas cheer involved in that tradition as well.

Once my dad returned, we would walk across the street and down the rear driveway of my grandmother’s house and have Christmas and lunch with my mother’s family and my cousins.

Then we were off to Hillcrest and my other grandparents’ house and finally to my Uncle Teddy’s.  Teddy always had the funniest-looking Christmas trees and those oversized Christmas light bulbs.

It was nice having not all but a good portion of our family living in the same town or very close by.

Over the years as we got older and we became volunteer fireman, both my brothers and I got to share that Christmas experience of riding the fire truck with my dad.  And even after I moved away and would return home for the holiday, I would share that Christmas morning experience with my father.  And we even developed some new traditions like on Christmas Eve, driving to Point Pleasant Beach to the Norwegian store to buy Norwegian cheese, fiskebollers (Codfish balls), and only once Lutefisk (because with Lutefisk only once was enough), and cod fish to make sandwiches.

And that Christmas Eve open house for whoever wanted to visit just got bigger and bigger, and even now my sister still tries to keep that tradition going in Oceanport.

I am too old now to lie in bed listening for sleigh bells or Santa’s location on the radio,  or waiting for my brothers and sister to wake me up.  But I have lots of nice memories of Christmases growing up. I guess when they say “the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart,” that’s where the memories live for as long as we are able to  remember them, which gets more challenging the older we get. Of course there have been Christmases since with sad memories, but even the sad ones remind us there is comfort and hope on the other side of those in time.

And writing about them and looking at old photos, reminds me of how much I miss my father and my brother.  Maybe I will have a codfish sandwich and some Norwegian cheese, an Akvavit on the rocks, and turn on Glen Campbell’s That Christmas Feeling album on Christmas Eve this year.

“At one time most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed it fell silent for all of them. Though I’ve grown old the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe” (from The Polar Express)

And who knows, maybe after a couple of those Akvavits, I will hear some bells too.

 

The time stamp on this featured photo says Jan 1963 so probably Christmas 1962. Gary would be about a year a half old, me about 6 1/2, Carl 8 almost 9, and Patty about 10 1/2.

 

Gary, Christmas 1965?
Early one, Patty at my Grandmother’s. Look at those legs!
Not sure, 1966 or 67?
Gar got a bike
I don’t know
Patty Christmas 1965
Early one, Carl and Patty, bungalow Christmas, I was a baby…youngest child
The Ghosts of Christmases Past

The Ghosts of Christmases Past

I remember my dad standing in the hallway near the front door while my mother would roll up the sleeves of his Banlon shirt to show more of his muscles, I guess. Or maybe that was just the style around 1960. My father worked the second shift as a drill press operator at Bendix in Eatontown, New Jersey, on Route 35, and he was getting ready to go to work. This was the ritual.

Bendix sponsored an art contest every year for their employees at Christmas.  I was young then, so I really didn’t know much other than I remember my dad creating beautiful drawings using pastels, and entering the contests during those years.  I think one of his drawings won a ribbon one Christmas.  This was the only time I can think of where he exhibited his artistic talent with something other than wood.

The Count Basie Center for the Arts is now a happening place on Monmouth Street in Red Bank New Jersey.  It’s owned by the Monmouth County Arts Council and reopened as the Count Basie Theatre in the early 1980s.  It’s a venue where you may have been entertained by Bruce Springsteen or Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes over the years.

But when I was four or five years old it was known as the Carlton theater, Reade’s Carlton to be exact, a beautiful old theater built in the 1920s first for Vaudeville shows, then transformed into a movie theater.

Every Christmas season, Bendix would host a Christmas program for the children of Bendix employees.  I have memories of standing in a very long line of families that wrapped around the corner and down a long Red Bank block in the cold patiently waiting for my turn to enter the lobby and get a bag of snacks, and I think, a small gift.  Then we watched a movie, the only one I remember was Walt Disney’s Pinocchio.

My dad would give up his drill press and Bendix and go on to work as a union carpenter in those early years of the 1960s, so I only remember a couple of those Bendix Carlton Christmases.  I seem to recall three of the drawings he submitted to the Bendix contests. I was able to salvage one of them,  though he had cut part way through it with one of his saws.  Saws and woodworking tools were much more associated with my dad than colored pastel pencils, so having at least a cut-down version of one of his Christmas drawings is pretty special.

The ghosts, the memories of this Christmas past writing, were 1960ish.   My brother Gary was born in May 1961 so, at this point, he is a ghost of a Christmas future I suppose.  The photo below was date stamped Jan 1960 so I think it was from Christmas 1959 when I was three and half.  I must have asked Santa for a gun that year.

The photo below is from an even earlier Christmas, 1957 maybe?  I am the little pudgy kid in the middle. I must have asked Santa for a car that year.  Maybe I will ask Santa for a car again this year.

The Sweet Kiss of Something

The Sweet Kiss of Something

Frank Hayes was born in Ireland. Though there seems to be some debate over when Frank was born, some say 1888 and some say 1901, one thing was for sure, Frank always wanted to be a jockey.

But Frank was built more like me when I was in my 20’s and 30’s at 140 pounds.  Not that 140 pounds was heavy, but it was if you wanted to be jockey.

Frank moved to New York City and when he found he couldn’t be a jockey, he decided to be a horse trainer and groom instead, at least he was in the game.  It was the 1920’s and thoroughbred horse racing was beginning its golden era in this country.

When I worked on the ambulance at Monmouth Park Racetrack in the 1970’s, for a few days later in the meet, the track would feature a few steeplechase races on the card each summer.  For us on the ambulance crew it was the busier days of the season because jumpers more frequently lost their riders.

Belmont Park, located on New York’s Long Island in the early 1920’s featured a similar steeplechase program.

One day Frank the trainer found himself an owner with a horse entered into one of Belmont’s steeplechase races who didn’t have a jockey to ride her.

The horse’s name was Sweet Kiss.

Sweet Kiss was a seven-year-old mare, an unraced maiden, and Frank saw an opportunity.  If he could get down to jockey weight of 130 pounds, he could ride Sweet Kiss and fulfill his dream to finally be a jockey.

So, Frank did the impossible and in a matter of 24 hours managed to lose twelve pounds to qualify.

Frank’s dream was finally going to come true.

He was about to check “Jockey” off his bucket list.

 

I have been having a bit of a nostalgic horse racing week, kind of reliving A Sentimental Racetrack Journey once again.  With November’s Breeder’s Cup in the books, the sport of horse racing winds down a bit as it awaits January’s  Eclipse Awards, which are kind of like the Oscars for horse racing, the naming of the Horse of the Year for 2024, and the new year when all two year olds turn three and thus the beginning of the 2025 three year old season which includes the Triple Crown races.

My sentimental journey this week was once again triggered by my perennial Horse of the Year…

Sir Sidney.

Sid.

I reached out to Marilyne this week to check on Sid:

He’s doing very well. I just got a new job that is very time consuming so I leased him out to a lesson program In Alpharetta for 6 months to a year where he is spoiled and pampered and so happy, and I can still go ride whenever I want. She sends me pictures periodically, and he has 3 friends and a big field, and lots of daily love and attention.  Here is one of my favorite funnies from this summer because he has quite the personality. 

In the next picture his little brother Walker is learning good ground manners from him at the trailer.  

The last two pics are from the leasing barn called Autograph Farm. They spoil him rotten!

Thanks for checking in!!

As is usual, I got a little teary-eyed.

Lucky Sid, after a long career of racing, is enjoying retirement.  Marilyne is his second owner I have kept in contact with since he retired.

 

Somehow, I don’t think Sid struggled with the same stress and fear of being retired that I find myself experiencing.  Sid is pampered and spoiled, and happy in his retirement.

And he has three friends and a big field and lots of love and attention.

And I am so envious.

I don’t have three friends or a big field.

I don’t know whether Sid has a bucket list, but he is a horse, so I am sure he has a bucket of something.

But it makes me happy that Sid is happy.

 

 

Frank’s dream finally came true.  He rode Sweet Kiss over the twelve-jump course. Going off at the odds of 20 to 1 against the favorite Gimme.  Gimme led most of the race though Sweet Kiss was just off the pace. Entering the home turn Frank shifted in the saddle and the two horses nearly collided, they made the last jump (somehow), straightened themselves out, and in the stretch Sweet Kiss dug in and pulled away by a length and a half.

Crossing the finish line instead of raising his crop in victory, Frank remained slumped over.

Eventually Frank would slide off the saddle and hit the ground. Though doctors rushed to his aid, Frank was pronounced dead right there on the racetrack.

Apparently, Frank had a heart attack and died probably around the time the two horses nearly collided entering the home turn. Some say it was the stress of the race and losing so much weight in such a short period of time that got him.

And because the rule books said the jockey had to remain in the saddle and cross the finish line in order to officially win, even though he was dead, Frank had won his first and his only race as a jockey.

Sweet Kiss broke her maiden status with the win but would race no more.

She went on to earn the nickname “the Sweet Kiss of Death.”

And Frank Hayes, as a result “is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the first Jockey (and probably first athlete of any sport) to ride to victory after his own death.”

Though Frank’s dream was fulfilled, he not only checked off the bucket, but kicked it too.

I don’t know what the moral of this story is.

Maybe fulfilling dreams aren’t always worth the stress, the effort, and the expense.

Look what it cost Frank Hayes.

Maybe following Sid’s example and just going wherever the bridle leads you is the way to go.

A few friends and a big field.

Or maybe a dock and a fishing pole.

Or a cabin and stream close by.

And of course lots of daily love and attention.

 

Checking off those buckets before we  kick them.

 

Here is the full photo
Marilyne and Sid
Sid with Walker
Just hanging out in the barn…retired