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Month: April 2018

“It’s The 90’s Man!”

“It’s The 90’s Man!”

One of the photos my mom messaged me of my dad on his new golf cart

Today is the day, according to the History Channel daily news feed I get in my email called “This Day in History,” that God made the Universe.  Well, The History Channel didn’t actually say God did it, but they did say that according to German mathematician and astronomer Johannes Kepler, today was the day the universe was created.  It is just my feeling God had to have had something to do with it.

Of course, I am amazed at what God has created as I sit on my deck and watch my backyard begin to come alive, it’s what we have created since that is sometimes overwhelming.  For someone who grew up learning world events from the Weekly Reader, what we can do today with technology is hard to imagine sometimes.   The generation of my parents often chose to avoid being plugged in all the time, maybe there is something to be said for that.

But my mom, for the first time in her life this week sent a photo to my cell phone that she took with her flip phone.  In fact, she was so excited that I received her photo message, a couple of days later she sent me another one.

Most of us are so used to the technology we use every day we take it for granted, and we are lost when it’s not available to us.

The building I work in has sinks in the men’s room that automatically dispense water when you put your hands in front of the spout.  One day I was in the Fairfax County Public Schools Administration building and went to use the restroom.  I went to wash my hands and when I put my hands in front of the spout no water came out.

Hmm, I thought… must be broken.

So I went to the next one and still nothing happened.  I think I mumbled something at that point about them not working and a guy who was there watching this silly dance of mine pointed to the faucet handles and said:

“Hey, you need to use these things, you are way ahead of us.”

On a recent trip to Florida, my daughter picked me up at the house and rushed me over to the airport, dropped me off and I went and checked my bag, and now with some time I headed to the gate to relax and wait.  Then a strange feeling came over me.  Something was not right.  There was something missing in my space. I stopped, I sat down on the window ledge; I knew right then what it was.

I didn’t have my cell phone.  I had left my cell phone on the kitchen counter.

What do I do? I thought to myself…a real feeling of helplessness swept through me.

I could call Hayley and ask her to pick up my phone and bring it to me, I probably had enough time for that.

But how do I do that?

How do I make a phone call in a public place if not on a cell phone? Do they still have pay phones?

But even if there was a pay phone available to me it wouldn’t matter because I don’t carry money anymore, let alone quarters.  And would it still cost a quarter?

I suppose I could ask someone if I could use a phone.

But that wouldn’t do me any good either because I don’t know Hayley’s phone number! It’s in my cell phone on the kitchen counter in my contacts under “Hayley.”

Feeling totally helpless I walked to the gate found some wi-fi and since I had my laptop (another “can’t leave home without”), I sent out emails to those I felt should know that I had gone off the grid; that I would be back in Weekly Readerville for next 5 days.

It is kind of sad to think we have become so dependent on these conveniences.  We don’t have to communicate verbally we can send a text or an email.  We don’t have to read it in a paper the next day or week, we can watch it unfold as it is happening on the device in our hand in whatever gruesome detail that may be.  It’s not surprising people are influenced to act in ways that may be hurtful or to be hurt by the use of this technology.  Easy ways to be bullied or to inflict control.  On the other hand, so much good comes from our technological developments.

I remember once when I was about 13 I was in my room reading a book written by one of those radical 60’s activists at the time and my dad came in to tell me I shouldn’t buy into everything I read in that book.  Knowing my dad I am sure it took a lot for him to make a point to say that to me.  Though I shrugged it off at the time it was good advice and is even more applicable today.

We just need to learn to enjoy the benefits while also learning how to process the social and economic aspects of all this change.  And teach our kids…well, maybe not my kids they already know everything…but our grandkids; just like my dad tried to teach me.  Maybe things haven’t really changed as much as we think.

So here I sit on my deck, word processing on my laptop while texting with my wife in Pennsylvania who left me alone again to write stuff like this, and I am reminded of that expression I like to use:

“It’s the 90’s man.”

Thank God for creating the universe…though maybe not on this day in 4977 BC as Mr. Keplar had proposed in the 1600’s.  In fact since then it has been estimated he was off by about 13.7 billion years.

And thanks to man and everything he has created since (or woman of course).  The world got a little bit smaller for my mom this week.  She can now share the joys she is experiencing while in the moment.

As for me, I am happy I can go to the restroom just put my hands out and have the water turn on.

It’s those little things.

A photo Kim sent me while I was writing. A reminder of what God created for us.
Forgive Me For Sharing

Forgive Me For Sharing

I am not feeling well.

I don’t typically like when people share their ailments over the internet or social media.

I don’t need the visual that you have diarrhea or that you are throwing up something that looks like something or other.

I want to gag too.

Just tell me you are taking a sick day and leave it at that.

Now here I am telling you I am not feeling well.

It’s been a while since I have felt like this.

But I realized today when reviewing my published work for the week, I had to have been off.

Because I made mistakes.  Some I was able to salvage and some I just had to apologize for.  I even tried to make a cup of tea in the microwave without any water.

But still, in spite of my fuzziness, once I got home, there was something kind of fun and relaxing about being able to sit in bed and have your wife feel sorry you (well at least I expect she will when she gets home), because in my case I know it’s nothing serious.  And when you grow up in the respiratory medical world getting a chest cold is kind of a professional challenge.

I break out my stethoscope.

I begin to analyze every cough and noise that I make.

Hey that one was loose and productive.

Wait that one was dry and non- productive.

Is that a bronchospasm I hear or a mucus plug?

What’s my temperature?  Low grade or high?

Do I have any chest pain?

And then there is the spitting.  When you work in a hospital or homecare keeping the airways open is your job.  Helping people breath is why you went to school.  You need to be alert and aware of all you hear and see.  Sure I have dodged a loogie or two in my day.  I had a couple I wasn’t fast enough for too.  My respiratory and pulmonary friends will relate.  There is nothing wrong with that, it’s part of the job, it’s what we did or do, helping people to breath, often saving lives.

I miss that.

So like it or not, when I am sick, I go into action.

And because today I am the one who is coughing and spitting, and delirious from fever, though I know that what I am experiencing is not serious, when I am sick, in my house, it is serious.

I remember when I was a kid, all the cool kids could spit really good.  Most them were athletic too, many played baseball like John Bedell, Bob Woolley, and Kevin Higgins; friends from my hometown of Oceanport, NJ.  They played hardball and Little League and Babe Ruth.  If you didn’t spit, you weren’t tough.

I wasn’t allowed to do much spitting on the Cub Scout Softball Team.

But those guys could sure spit.

They would wind up and when they let go it sounded like a poison dart coming out of a blowgun.  It was a perfect projectile and man it could travel. (Tttthhhhwwwwuuuut!)

I always envied those guys.

When I was a kid and I spit it was more like trying to eject a raw egg out of my mouth.  And it didn’t travel very far at all it just went about the direction I was leaning and usually required some assistance from my fingers to clear the obstruction.

So as a result I knew never to try and impress the girls by hocking a loogie in gym class.

Maybe I am just delirious.

Maybe I should stop writing before I say something stupid.

Maybe I have already said something stupid.

Maybe it’s a good thing I am not working with patients anymore, because forgiveness for mistakes in that world can be difficult.

Thankfully in the world I work in today, forgiveness is encouraged.

 

My wife is home now.

I am thinking about having her order a chest x-ray stat.

Or maybe a pizza would be easier.